I feel bad
I feel bad
I feel like a bad person; I'm so ashamed of who I am. I'm always trying to be like other people, i have no idea what my true self is. I feel like I'm losing control of my life and I'm so afraid of the world, i feel really alone and isolated. i cant function normally in society. I want to connect with people but I dont trust people. ugh I hate that i use the word I in all my sentences.
Re: I feel bad
Are you going to anyone to talk, like a therapist? If I remember your previous posts, you're still pretty young. Have you been diagnosed with anything?
I imagine that if you were really a bad person that it wouldn't bother you, so there's that.
I imagine that if you were really a bad person that it wouldn't bother you, so there's that.
Re: I feel bad
I have been seeing my school counselor. I started seeing (about a month ago) a different counselor at this other place. I have only seen here twice, i was suppose to see her recently but she cancelled. I have been trying to get a hold of her but she hasn't called me back. I'm trying to look into another place for therapy. Ive been trying to find some place with a low fee. Every time I try to get help I end up seeing them for a short period of time; I have never had some consistent help. It feels hopeless
i have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I take medication and see a psychiatrist for that. in high school I had a depressive episode. also a separate psychiatrist said had OCD. I'm pretty sure about the GAD not so sure that have OCD. Ive seen tons of psychiatrists and have been on and off different meds. Its like they just want me take meds they dont want to hear me
i have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I take medication and see a psychiatrist for that. in high school I had a depressive episode. also a separate psychiatrist said had OCD. I'm pretty sure about the GAD not so sure that have OCD. Ive seen tons of psychiatrists and have been on and off different meds. Its like they just want me take meds they dont want to hear me
Re: I feel bad
Excuse me while I give you a giant virtual hug!
I'm so sorry you feel this way, but you are certainly not on your, you just haven't found the write therapist yet. If they just want to pump you with meds, but don't want to hear your feelings, then it's on them for being a crappy doctor, it's nothing you should feel badly about. Maybe your school counselor could help you find someone? Or if you have a doctor you go to, they sometimes have connections with good people too, that's how I found mine.
I know that feeling of trying to be someone for other people and forgetting who you are, but you have lots of time to figure it out! Maybe try to stop sometimes and think, "what do *I* want?" You don't have to be anyone else, you just have to be you. Just keep taking baby steps and you'll get better.
I'm so sorry you feel this way, but you are certainly not on your, you just haven't found the write therapist yet. If they just want to pump you with meds, but don't want to hear your feelings, then it's on them for being a crappy doctor, it's nothing you should feel badly about. Maybe your school counselor could help you find someone? Or if you have a doctor you go to, they sometimes have connections with good people too, that's how I found mine.
I know that feeling of trying to be someone for other people and forgetting who you are, but you have lots of time to figure it out! Maybe try to stop sometimes and think, "what do *I* want?" You don't have to be anyone else, you just have to be you. Just keep taking baby steps and you'll get better.