Powerful

[didbakenaked]

I have been reading Geneen Roth's "When Food is Love," and also many articles about narcissistic parents. I'm 26 and I've been a compulsive eater since I was 8 or 9. I didn't understand until I read this book, this week, that it has nothing to do with the food. I thought it had at least something to do with food, (especially because I LOVE FOOD,), but it doesn't. For the past two years I have understood that I was using food to feed something else... My negative thoughts for the most part. Although that understanding was helpful and enlightening, it didn't help me kick my habit. I feel so good right now. I feel like I have been released from a low security prison that I was locked up in on the weekends for the past 18 years. It's not a simple fix of course, but defining a problem is the first part to coming up with solutions. So this next part is the most difficult part to share because I still am fighting the urge to feel guilty about some mild to moderate emotional abuse I experienced from my mother. I finally understand now that I started to eat a lot to make myself feel better about the inappropriate things my mother would share with me as I was growing up. My mother was almost always miserable. Her favorite thing for her to be miserable about was my father. All the times I went on errands with my mother just so I could spend time with her, she would emotionally dump on me the failings of marriage and her unhappiness. Then, we would go get ice cream! Or, we would go shopping! Or we would do both! This happened almost every other day. It's so hard to say all of this because I have denied how unhappy it made me for so long, because it seems so trivial compared to what others have gone through. I wanted to share to see if anyone else has gone through these same things.

[manuel_moe_g]

feel so good right now. I feel like I have been released from a low security prison that I was locked up in on the weekends for the past 18 years. It's not a simple fix of course, but defining a problem is the first part to coming up with solutions.

This is awesome! You rock!