Speaking to someone with mild PTSD

[manuel_moe_g]

I have somebody in my life whose mild PTSD is activated by all this unrest in the world, and it is manifesting as arguments between us.

I wrote on a 3 x 5 card:

[*] Good to have community that can empathize

[*] AND I know we can get through this

[*] cannot do this conversation right now, because I am sensing a lot of anger coming towards me

[*] how about we take a break and talk about it calmly later

[snoringdog]

The key is how not to take things personally, and not allow things to escalate, right?

That's probably the hardest thing, especially if you're caught off-guard....

[oak]

Very good thinking, Manuel Moe.

Your main responsibility is you (and your daughter is up there too).

You have to take care of you first, so you can have something to give to others later.

And yes, there are any number of crises now to activate anyone’s PTSD.

Tread carefully, and you’ll make it.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello SnoringDog!

The key is how not to take things personally, and not allow things to escalate, right? That's probably the hardest thing, especially if you're caught off-guard....

So true.

Hello Oak!

You have to take care of you first, so you can have something to give to others later.
And yes, there are any number of crises now to activate anyone’s PTSD.

Yeah, I habitually forget about treating myself as only human

I am trying meditation apps, to be less reactive around this person who has mild PTSD, also I hope more frequent meditation will allow me to manage my mood less with eating, napping, and smartphone scrolling. Also I would like to have more times during the day where I can freely exercise choice inside the gap between stimulus and response.

[Beany Boo]

People with PTSD need to win. That’s my experience as one



... and my experience with others who are.

They need to win the moment, or get consensus on what’s real (even if you don’t consent).

Let them win. Or if you need to defend yourself, say gently, “I have to stop.” The phrase only makes sense one way in that context.

To be there for them you literally only have to be physically present and show in your body and face that you’re responsive to them; which only has to show minimally.

You’re there if they need you, but you don’t have to match their energy, or confirm their reality, you can just be there, in their company. Be there while you’re having your own feelings (possibly of longing).