Sundays in November: four bookends.

[oak]

Thank you, Mental Fairy!

Friends, I offer you a bookend within a bookend; an Inception bookend, if you will.

(See if you notice a trend in the following!)

Today I give my supervisor The Speech. It has three parts, all of them downers.

1. I cannot/will not be able to meet their stated year-end metric. I (explicitly) offer to resign at any time they designate, if this is a non-negotiable part of my position.

2. I was nearly carjacked recently. (An implicit warning of resigning as soon as is convenient for me; who wants to work where carjacking might happen?)

3. If anything goes wrong with my car, since I have no savings I can not afford the repairs, and therefore can't afford to drive in, which is required. (Another implied but pretty obvious message that I may resign at any time.)

I've been in this kind of situation before, and maybe any of you have, too: lots of options for this job, and almost all end in resigning.

Lastly, and I discussed this with my mental health counselor today, if he is unwilling or "too busy" to have this conversation, then I submit my resignation.

I'll update very soon after 5 pm Eastern for this bookend-within-a-bookend!

[oak]

What happened
Next steps

1. What happened

Friends! I got it all out.

I am very relieved.

I said all I had to say, and left nothing unsaid. I clearly explained my evolving boundaries.

I was careful to explicitly be respectful and appreciative, while unambiguously stating my truths.

My supervisor was respectful and civil, if not overly invested. As good as an outcome as I could hope.

2. Next steps

My conscience is clear if I choose to resign (I mean, seriously: if someone is nearly carjacked, you have to assume they're planning to leave, right?).

I didn't resign or get put on a performance improvement plan, so this gives me a little air and time to ramp up my professional-skill building over the next few months, so I can escape this precarious (financial and safety) work situation. I'll post more about these professional moves ongoing, but for today I'm pleased.

I'm leaving soon for nidra yoga as a reward.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi oak
Super proud kiwi over here! Well done. How were all the reactions however? Were they grateful you got it all out in the open?

Enjoy yoga

[oak]

Mental Fairy: Hi! My boss worked on an Excel document during our conversation, so that sums it up.

Bookend 3 of 4: This past week

Friends, I made it through this week!

In addition to the work sorrow above, I did (1) get rehabilitation advice regarding my ankle tendonitis (2) met with my local grocery's "certified wellness consultant" (who is separate to, and supports the recommendations of, my licensed dietician) and (3) the host of the grip competition.

No one here, including my boss, is a bad person. It is just varying amounts of good habits. (Said another way: this week I saw people demonstrating good habits, and some demonstrating bad. This week I want to practice good habits, rather than wallow in resentment.)

This week

And that, friends, is my goal for this Thanksgiving week: better habits:

1. Stretching more
2. More fruit
3. Habits of fun, relaxation, and pulling back: I'll watch America in the World Cup, and go to yoga.

I am already thinking about goals for 2023, so now is a good time to lower my expectations as far as this week's to-dos. Especially after this exhausting week.

Edit to add:

Per the explicit goals for this past week, both Monday yoga and Saturday strength competition went great. I love the local and small and homey and encouraging.

[Mental Fairy]

Absolutely pumped you love the yoga!
Goal setting is something I do struggle with due to lack of self belief. Your ability I do admire.

[oak]

Thank you, Mental Fairy!

Friends! I offer you a bonus "Sunday in November", a fifth of four bookending updates.

Last Sunday, November 27, I knew the remaining four days could pack a wallop of grief, sorrow, and downer stuff. My fears proved prescient, as I had many downer events, right up to 11:58 pm Wednesday.

While I made some good choices in November, I am not sorry to see it go.

More happily, looking to the near future

1. Today, Sunday Dec 4, I am working on the broad outlines of my 2023 goals.

2. I will review the same with my mental health counselor tomorrow.