Mental health: living according to values and principles: 2017 and now.

[oak]

Troebia, I found this worked for me, to have zest and fire and to look forward to waking up tomorrow: a person with a "why" can endure any "how".

Said another way, we naturally figure out "how", without any difficulty, when we have a reason to get out of bed, rather than slip into what I call "nihilism"; "nihilism" meaning, for me: why not spiral into sloth, alcohol, unemployment, morbid obesity, mindless consumption of media, etc.

I look at myself as from the outside and think, wtf? What is supposed to be a balanced life, anyway?

There you go, Troebia: you have two of the three steps done:

1. With "wtf?", you recognize that you are in a mishegas.
2. You know where you want to be: a balanced life.
3. Move from where you are to where you want to be.

To get that third step, here is what worked for me:

Imagine that it is suddenly a year from today. What is a balanced life?

How do you live a balanced life on a Saturday afternoon? What are you doing? Thinking?

Thursdays at 11 am? The day after Christmas?

Why should you choose to be excited about life on 08/24/2024. rather than slide into the short-term payoff of Xanax and alcohol?

Why not just give up hope? So many men our age do it: I've known many of them. They slide into alcoholism.

Are you living a balanced life today? What is out of balance? What would that corrected balance look like?

What can you do tomorrow?

Like you, I have several problems, some of them serious. I can continue going through life fat, broke, and lazy. It would be easy, comfortable, and familiar.

But I'm in love with someone, and that someone has options. Perhaps I can be increasingly fit, solvent, and diligent. Is this person not worth it?

My reason to live is a smart, ambitious, fiery peliroja. What's your reason to live?

[troebia]

My reason to live is a smart, ambitious, fiery peliroja. What's your reason to live?

Again, Oak, I must admire your drive to push through. I'm in a nihilist mood myself:

I can't claim to have done it all, but I've been through some basics. Family, work, house, dogs, travel. When my daughter (28) now reasons intelligently with me my heart fills with warmth and contentment. She can carry the flame forward now. At the same time I recognise how I've stopped advancing and how every piece of hardware and software in me is slowly deteriorating. It's normal...it's the way of life.

I still love and desire my wife, but I think we've been through every practical position in the book and have had all possible kinds of argument and reconciliation. Maintenance kisses and sex. I had a couple of flings, way back, and I feel ashamed now of how I thought I'd discover something new.

I've seen friends my age go through the same routines, then suddenly get cancer, then die. We bury them and things just go on and we pick up a few groceries on the way back home from the cemetery. They'd do the same with me. Yesterday a friend showed me his new car and I couldn't muster any kind of enthusiasm or envy. "Look, it even has an app that tracks where it's parked and how far it can go without refuelling!" Good grief.

Ok, I can go on and progress somewhat with drawing and painting and it's actually the only thing that really tingles me right now. And also always nature, the way the sunset always is different, the way a seed will germinate and grow. Maybe there will be something in a few years that can cure my tinnitus. Would I rather they allocated those resources to finding a cure for some kind of cancer that affects children? Maybe. Logic and fairness don't apply in the real savage world that will swallow you up in the end. And this f*cking war just goes on and on...

[oak]

Troebia, you are nearly there: there’s just one step left.

The last step, so far as I’ve experienced it, is to be listening for your Muse.

In the next few days, be open to listening for, and to, your Muse.

Your subconscious wants to live, so he’ll give you a vision or idea or aspiration. Like all muses, it will show up and leave on its own timeline. And you may not like or prefer what your muse has to tell you.

But it is a huge risk not to listen to, and appreciate, your muse.

Now, being an artist for years you know all about your muse.

This is a muse with stakes. This is life and death.

I’m confident your psyche will give you a reason to live soon. In the next week. Listen to it, and don’t judge.

[troebia]

Oak, I will leave my soul unlocked just in case. I don't know what to look out for but I'll give it a shot