Sleep apnea, GERD, and obesity: efforts to fix this.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak

This is extremely common, more so as generations breed into high hormone based lifestyle.
You will find as your progress in your weight loss journey it will dramatically chance over time to be less of an issue. Men especially change that part rather rapidly with weight loss.

Please don’t allow this to affect you deeply. Having gained some weight myself over this last year I have a lot of nasty conversations going on with the mirror currently. Be gentle on yourself as a sense of panic will erupt within you to try change in an unrealistic timeframe.

Allow the shame to pass over and accept you have something so many people have. Yes wear darker colours if you wish to try block your line of sight to this area, but remember please that anyone whom judges you on anything like this needs a kick in the walnuts or lady garden!

That’s my little rant back at you !!!!

[oak]

Thank you, Mental Fairy
A preliminary plan
Evidence to the contrary
Many a truth is spoken in jest: Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Talk With Mike Greenman (video)

Thank you, Mental Fairy

Mental Fairy, thank you for experienced insight into this difficult matter. Really seeing oneself as one is, for the first time, can be shocking.

A preliminary plan

I fully recognize that something happened, and I face a difficult situation. I can fully awknowledge this difficulty, and leave it for another day.

Said another way: I'll sort this out, including buying dark technical shirts, after the holiday

Evidence to the contrary

Putting aside any false modesty, and in an effort to be honest, here are two remarks I've heard, apropos of nothing, since the shocking moment yesterday:

1. An acquaintance today: "Doesn't Oak look handsome today?"

(The tenth compliment I've received in my life!)

Edit to add: I mention these not to say how awesome I am, but to make clear that how I see myself and how others see me are two different things. I can’t always trust my mind.

2. A friend stated that I am "a flexible 7, and an 8 on a good day". I'll take it!

Many a truth is spoken in jest: Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Talk With Mike Greenman (video)

This classic video, from the satirical site The Onion, contains some difficult realities we can only handle indirectly, through humor.

https://youtu.be/n_UbFjUlWnI

I'll especially draw your attention to the flipchart halfway through: you'll note the "improved" brother is slimmer and better groomed.

[oak]

Friends! A troubling update.

Last night I woke up choking, for the first time in over a year.

I couldn't tell, in the moment, if it was GERD or sleep apnea.

Either way, I know I need to save my own life, and quickly.

We can talk about specific plans soon, but for now all I can do is (1) admit here that something happened (2) I am responsible and (3) I don't want to live like this anyone. I can't.

Thanks for listening! Admitting this is difficult.

[oak]

Hi friends.

Waking up choking was quite the downer start to my Memorial Day.

I thought sleep apnea was largely in my past. [discouraged sigh]

While I fully recognize I (we?) face a long, difficult road, regarding a very dangerous condition, I do offer a few reasons I had to smile, and reasons to really live (eg pick myself up and try again):

1. Much as I've struggled (and failed, frankly) to adjust to the CPAP, I tried it again that night. Said another way: I immediately took action, however halting.

2. My goal for this week: (1) hold on (2) see if I can make some good choices and (3) look forward to community yoga on the town square Saturday*.

3. There are sparks, however preliminary, at barre class, and they may be mutual.

[manuel_moe_g]

My cpap machine

ResMed AirSense 10 cpap machine

4D0C1802-8ABA-4E79-970D-7EF1B765BD81.jpeg (60.9 KiB) Viewed 1937 times

[oak]

Manuel Moe, hi!

I knew, before I saw the caption, that you have a ResMed 10. (I have an 11, and both a "full" and "nasal pillow" mask).

I hope it is very satisfactory for you, and vastly improves your life.

For me, I’m going to check out the CPAP subreddit and that guy on YT who has compliance videos.

While I have reason to believe my sleep apnea is caused by obesity, I’m not giving up on CPAP just yet, no matter how discouraging the results have been so far.

Edit to add:

If I may, I'd like to make several categorical statements.

I 100% believe the following:

1. I have sleep apnea.
2. Sleep apnea is very serious.
3. CPAP is an excellent therapy (perhaps the best).
4. I have 100% never identified with (a) the onsite sleep tests or (2) CPAPs. These have always felt foreign to me, as if they are "not me". As if they are happening to someone else. Not disassociation, which I've also experienced, but as if wholly foreign.
5. I have always 100% identified with the (a) fitness and (b) nutrition methods recommended to lose weight. This has always felt right, as if I am coming home (or never left).

[manuel_moe_g]

Please keep trying with your cpap machine

the strain put on heart by sleep apnea is worrisome for all who suffer

i also need to do better with my cpap machine nightly treatments

all the best, and wishing you everything grand that life has to offer, you deserve nothing less

[manuel_moe_g]

i have to change out the consumable parts for cleanliness & safety

i have the replacement parts sitting in a box

i just have to do it

[oak]

Manuel Moe, please go change them now, if you can.

If you do so, and reply here by 9 pm Eastern, I will try my CPAP tonight for an hour.

Also, thank you for the encouragement.

[oak]

Please don’t allow this to affect you deeply. Having gained some weight myself over this last year I have a lot of nasty conversations going on with the mirror currently.

Mental Fairy, I want to thank you for two reasons:

1. Thank you for taking this serious on its face.

2. Thank you for not using the shaming language (eg "moobs", "bro", "manziere").

Part of the reason I say this is because one of the many ways my parents failed me was by using imprecise/baby-talk descriptions of my body. Other than spanking ("Other than that, how was the theater, Mrs. Lincoln?"), they didn't abuse me physically.

But my parents and my bullies alienated me from my own body.

I am glad I reconnected with my body in my 40s, especially through martial arts (and with an honorable mention to barre and yoga).

Said another way: I am convinced that my abusers were eager to alienate me from my body, making their destructive work all the easier.

They're evil and lazy.