Requiem for a (Latin Dance) Dream

[oak]

1. What actually happened
2. Creating space for something new
3. What I'm getting at, which is not really about Latin Dance at all

What actually happened

Friends, after giving it a good try for a year, I realized I wasn't getting better, or even proficient, at the rudiments of Latin Dance. Everyone was really good to me, and I tried, but I realized I wasn't progressing beyond the very basics, and that further effort would be more profitably directed elsewhere.

Conversely, I'm taking to, of all things, the gym, which I began at the same time. I'm feeling better, seeing results in cardio/strength, and becoming increasingly proficient in new endeavors. None of this happened with Latin dance.

Said another way, I'm rapidly progressing at the gym, and it is fun and effortless. Sometimes a person gets tired of banging their head against the same brick wall. Sometimes trying more, more of the same, isn't going to work, no matter how much we want it to.

What I'm getting at, which is not really about Latin Dance at all

I can still do swing dance and Zumba. Sometimes when something isn't working, the best way to honor it is to leave it behind.

Latin dance is awesome. It is just not awesome for me.

What I'm getting at

In life, there was something that was a good idea. Everyone did their best, but it wasn't a fit, and it was never going to be a fit.

We can move on with gratitude, but it comes time to move on.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi hear you Oak.
It’s the trying new things and testing one’s self that is far better than trying to be perfect at one given thing of forcing yourself to keep trying one path that leads absolutely no where.

I tried the gym thing but I don’t deal well with being out in public and being in one spot. The anxiety I would get before going to gym was overwhelming.
My therapist pointed out my habits with running and for the first time I’ve stopped wearing a watch. I no longer track myself and have less control. That way I don’t fixate on trying to be something I’m not capable of on that given day. I was known to punish myself for not being fast enough, going long enough and just not being enough. The hard part is letting go of those things you have been doing for so long.

In the short time I’ve been on here you are showing such courage and strength. Admire that.

Recently a podcast read out something I submitted and hearing it was weird. I was on a run at the time when I was listening to it. Women's running podcast. It made me feel so exposed but it felt like I was starting to come out of my shell and tell my story. A year ago I wouldn’t even talk to anyone about anything other than work. If it helps someone then great. We are here to help each other.
On the 10th June I have an interview with another podcast so will let you know when it airs so you can hear it. Ya will get to hear my kiwi accent!

Take care

[snoringdog]

..."was known to punish myself for not being fast enough, going long enough and just not being enough...."

On the way home from work this week, I saw one of those big bright billboards along the highway that simply said "You are Enough". No idea who posted it, but it was good to see.

On the same trip, a car in front of me had a bumper sticker that said "My Other Car is .... Crippling Anxiety"

[rivergirl]

Oak & Mental Fairy,

I admire you both for continuing to try to find the activities that bring meaning and relief to your lives (and maybe some joy at times).

rivergirl