Oak's body/trauma journey (ongoing).

[oak]

Friends! With all credit and recognition to our dear friend Mental Fairy, who has a fantastic thread she created about her body/trauma experience: with imitation being the most sincere form of flattery, with your kind indulgence I'd like to post here in the coming months about, with the bolded as what I identify as the most important, with one also in italics as doubly interesting to me:

[*]My journey with trauma leaving my body
[*]Inflexibility in general
[*]Hamstring tightness in specific (my physical therapist says I have "hamstrings of a 80-year old man", which I have lots of evidence to believe)
[*]Yoga is "choosing me"
[*]Dare I dream to complete a duathlon ("run" and bike) in 2023?
[*]Apparent toxic masculinity
[*]Actual toxic masculinity
[*]My beef with the yoga industry (I am not a beautiful young woman, among other beefs)
[*]Chakras: Believing vs experiencing
[*]Hole in the soul theory: Believing vs experiencing
[*]Shaming and bad information I received growing up from my mother (recently estranged, but still dealing the wreckage) and 1980's American society
[*]Sleep apnea/Mediterranean diet/Working paycheck to paycheck
[*]Examining and identifying privilege, especially class privilege
[*]Holistic care: confronting pain residing in my body (basically: I received mental health counseling, which knocked this mess loose, and it left my sacral chakra-area during yoga (this was no fun)

That is the preliminary plan, friends. There will be lots of things I don't want to talk about, and that I am risking my life stuffing down.

Also, if I may be so bold, let me ask the following:

People who are attracted to men: all else equal, would a man who is training for a duathlon/triathlon be considered attractive?

[manuel_moe_g]

Oh man, I can’t wait to read your thoughts on all these topics, Oak!

[Mental Fairy]

Oh boy, oh boy Oak you age a smorgasbord of enlightenment coming your way buddy.

There is so much you are opening yourself up for with your list.

As for the ending question… my answer would be absolutely.

I’m not speaking on behalf of anyone but myself. A man who works on himself either mentally or physically is a big attraction to the opposite gender.
When someone takes ownership of their vessel and try’s to better themselves in some way for the right reasons, that alone speaks volumes.

My husband is a big guy, he is struggling to drop some weight and I’ve noticed recently he is seeing changes In himself as he can’t fight off a cold or flu like he used too. I still adore him and will support him through his journey with his body. As he has with mine.

I think if a man is not overpowering with his ego and making the necessary changes to himself for the better of his health and not his ego, it helps them all the more become more attractive. When I did attend a gym there was a man there I called Huff and Puff. He would lift weights and make noises like pistons were blowing off in him. I saw him watch other women and they watched him. Not one atom in my body wanted to know him, it repulsed me in fact. That kind of man to me is not someone I would go for, why? Not sure really.

Mental health is a large contributing factor to the external presentation of a person.
The inside of a person (meaning mentally) needs to match up with external part of themselves.

When a person gets back up and dusts themselves off after a life changing event regardless of how it’s changed them physically or mentally, it makes the person all the more capable of having a healthier life than others who don’t get back up at all.

Hope this helps answer your question!!

[Beany Boo]

My Pilates teacher does yoga classes - for herself - specifically for anxiety reduction. Tally ho!

[Mental Fairy]

Oak I had a thought…. The mat had my back today after my run.
I laid there stretching feeling fragile and yet energised.
Something I always do in the morning is the WimHof breathing technique. Bit trippy but helps open up the lungs? I called a friend whom is a wimhof teaching person and he said it’s helped people with sleep apnea.

Maybe worth a google!

[Mental Fairy]

I’ve had another thought Oak, what’s the options you have available for relocation to a cheaper option or closer to downsize the commute?
I have absolutely no idea what the logistics are where you are but just thinking outside the box to lighten your load.

Just a thought.

[oak]

1. A quick update
2. Thanks to my friends, especially Mental Fairy

A quick update

While I'd prefer martial arts, I am finding that yoga is finding me.

Not what I wanted or expected, but it is what life is giving. I'm going with the flow, and grateful to anyone who is willing to help me face my hamstring issues. Any port in a storm.

More updates soon!

Thanks to my friends, especially Mental Fairy

Thank you Manuel Moe and Beany Boo!

I’ve had another thought Oak, what’s the options you have available for relocation to a cheaper option or closer to downsize the commute?

Yes, very true. If such an opportunity presents itself I will immediately avail myself of it. Well said, Mental Fairy.

Something I always do in the morning is the WimHof breathing technique.

Also well said, Mental Fairy. I took an hourlong session about Wim Hof method last summer, and found it very helpful! It is Plan C of my anxiety-mitigation methods. I should do it more regularly, though.

A man who works on himself either mentally or physically is a big attraction to the opposite gender.

After a lifetime of being invisible, this week several young ladies did invite me to things. Others are all smiles. It is a jarring but pleasant experience.

My husband is a big guy, he is struggling to drop some weight and I’ve noticed recently he is seeing changes In himself as he can’t fight off a cold or flu like he used too. I still adore him and will support him through his journey with his body. As he has with mine.

He sounds like a good, worthy brother!

I hope his moral/mental journey is going well.

When I did attend a gym there was a man there I called Huff and Puff. He would lift weights and make noises like pistons were blowing off in him.

Boooooo for this guy!

Likewise, with Mr. Huffnpuff above, I notice that some women in the gym (and there is no way for me to say this without saying it, though it still makes me feel weird and gross to type it) moan and gasp and sigh during group exercise classes. I can't say that is performative, but like your experience with the unfortunate man-child, it is slightly out of place. It taught me to quietly go about what I have in front of me.

Said another way, none of the women I've fallen for had to say that they were attractive, kind: they just were.

Maybe that gets at what this is all about: find out what is important, focus on ourselves, and the universe will provide.

[Mental Fairy]

Oak, your are finding your feet my friend.
Yoga does find you, you don’t find yoga.
I never went looking for it at such. I was struggling with my joints after chemo tablets started and pain was a barrier. My husband saw a Ted talk episode about a man with bowel disease.he became very invested in yoga that helped get his bowel moving and organs massaged In a way that helped him recover.
I started that day, set myself a 30 day challenge with yoga with Adriane on YouTube and I haven’t stopped since. It’s been over 8 years of yoga and wow what a difference. Even just to the mental state. Your body will tell you very quickly if it wants a close to floor session or a standing one.
Yesterday I got on the mat and just flowed as I did my jog before it. I find if I go right to the mat my mind doesn’t gel well until I face a challenge.
Some days I simply just lay on the mat and just stretch. Those days I learn forgiveness for myself.

I’m not as well advanced as Beanie Boo on meditation as my mind goes like some multi channeled radio skipping from AM to FM and back again.
Then days I just want to cry, scream and just be.

Your doing well Oak, you have come such a long way.

[Beany Boo]

ELDOA exercise might be another way to go if yoga feels too intense. ELDOA is a stretch and release exercise system that isolates muscle tightness in a very targeted way. It’s quite new but growing in popularity. It sits somewhere between yoga and functional movement exercise (not an expert!).

There are some good examples on YouTube. I won’t give any unless you are interested.

[oak]

Hi friends!

Thank you, Mental Fairy, for sharing about her videos. I'll add them to my daily mix.

Yes, Beany Boo, feel free to share some links. Like the videos mentioned above, I'm always eager for variety.

Well friends, today I went to Sunday yoga. While everyone was lovely and kind, I had all sorts of trauma leaving my body.

While there I resolved to (1) Reduce my current/ongoing stress and trauma (eg find better paying work; this can't continue) and (2) stick with yoga/barre/videos recommended by my friends (above): as in, this is my life, going forward.

So I got my butt kicked, had a HALT meltdown after getting home, and am just holding on mentally. Facing one's flaws is difficult indeed.