Oak's body/trauma journey (ongoing).

[Mental Fairy]

Omg Rivergirl hello!!!! My gosh I have been wondering how you are. So pleased you swing by the bar of mental love!

Oak, you my dear are doing bloody amazing. If we rewind a little when I was going through the start of this mental forum journey I found my yoga mat caught more tears than my tissues every could.
Why?

Because that’s were you can actually stop and feel your movement, you hear the brain say stuff and try influence your next move with negative thoughts. Breaking through that negative thought and doing the move to the best of your ability is fantastic. You my friend are finding yourself. Sure you are struggling with the treasure you have found because it’s heavy and it’s plentiful. But guess what? Your worth every dime.

The last few days of covid has kicked my butt. I even had a nap today and felt myself chewing on my lower lip in my sleep so much it hurt because I felt bad for laying there like a beached salmon with no place to go!

Stopping running is shit! But it’s not about me it’s about health. And you have your health currently in the ‘work in progress section’. Keep doing the yoga if you feel. It’s healing. The night yoga sessions are the best. Allow yourself some floor time.
If you need or want a good mat let me know. I can arrange. Your flowing Oak, your flowing with emotion and new territory to be explored.

Again my friend I am here for you. Allow us to lift you up from time to time. Allow the emotions. I am about to get on my mat for this evening stretch to let covid know it’s stay is currently unwelcome but it was an experience I know understand more. Can’t believe it stopped me running!

[oak]

@Rivergirl: Thank you for your encouragement!

@Mental Fairy: I am touched by your thoughtful reply. The encouragement I receive here is basically all the encouragement I get. I've taken each word to heart. Thank you!

Well friends, I thought I'd, in a sentence each, explicate some of the main topics I intended to cover with this thread, from my first post. Each is in bold.

My journey with trauma leaving my body

While I had never considered chakras before (more on this later), mental health counseling plus yoga in spring of 2021 had all sorts of trauma (lower back) and anxiety (mid-back, other side) leave my body.

Inflexibility in general

My physical therapist says I have the hamstrings of an 80 year old man, and I have plenty of reason to believe him, so we can only go up from here.

Yoga is "choosing me"

I prefer martial arts or 5Ks, but here we are

Dare I dream to complete a duathlon ("run" and bike) in 2023?

Just considering this is a major source of hope, and August 2022 is a time where I can use all the hope I can get.

Apparent toxic masculinity
Actual toxic masculinity

I'll have more to say later about pre-pandemic yoga dudes, and their grievous disregard of the Man Code, specifically the Respectful Nod (I am wholly serious about this)

My beef with the yoga industry (I am not a beautiful young woman, among other beefs)

I have since found out that pre-pandemic yoga studios also treated beautiful young women like trash, so they can all go to hell.

Hole in the soul theory: Believing vs experiencing

I don't think I actually have anything to say about this.

Shaming and bad information I received growing up from my mother (recently estranged, but still dealing the wreckage) and 1980's American society

Oh boy, this deserves its own thread; no way am I touching that this month lol

Sleep apnea/Mediterranean diet/Working paycheck to paycheck

Each of these have their own thread, so I'm not sure why I put them here

Examining and identifying privilege, especially class privilege

This happens all the time, and I'm no shape to touch that this month, either.

Holistic care: confronting pain residing in my body (basically: I received mental health counseling, which knocked this mess loose, and it left my sacral chakra-area during yoga (this was no fun)

This I covered above.

Conclusion

Thanks for listening, friends!

I'll post more about my yoga and trauma journey, but I'm glad to have addressed the ostensible initial reasons for this thread.

[Mental Fairy]

I’ll be waiting with my arms out wide as you are making progress.

[oak]

Bump!

Friends, I wanted to say that I've by no means forgotten about yoga.

While I've gravitated to kettlebell (and away from my true passion of martial arts) in 2022, I want to end 2022 better regarding yoga.

Ergo, I've scheduled for Tuesday sessions through November, at my gym near my work.

Next year, for local yoga scene, I fully intend to be all free sessions on the town square in the summer. I also intend, when I change careers (next 6-18 months) to join a proper yoga studio.

Thank you for listening and supporting me.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak, sounds like a good plan. Looking forward to hearing about your experience on the mat of connection.

[oak]

Thanks, MentalFairy!

My mental health counseling facility is hosting a trauma-informed yoga session today.

Just like you thought of us while completing your half marathon (well done!), I’ll think of your courage, that you’ve demonstrated the last few months, in facing that scary mind/spirit/body nexus.

I don’t say this lightly: while I can’t claim to be a great fan of yoga, I do appreciate its power in releasing trauma from my body.

(Though I have gone from skeptical to agnostic about chakras, I fully feel trauma leaving my left chakras, and stress leaving my right chakras. Btw, my both-at-once (1) doubt of and (2) experience with chakras deserves its own thread.)

This release is agony, physically. And I use “agony” in the religious sense. It is extremely painful physically.

This takes enormous courage, to willingly go to something we know will be painful.

I’ll post afterwards!

[manuel_moe_g]

Good luck, Oak!

[Mental Fairy]

Oak, I had to rerun my half today. It was poring with rain, I knew before I completed the first km I was in for a hard run. My mindset was tired. My body not as hydrated as normal. I did 15km. Got to a beautiful waterfall and sobbed my eyes out. Everyone would still be in bed or eating breakfast around the city, given it’s a Sunday. I felt defeated and underprepared. So a lot of your words ran through my head. I took a photo for you. Will attach. It make the mental feeling of failure pass and I knew I was probably going to be the only one to see this spot today!

[oak]

I took a photo for you. Will attach. It make the mental feeling of failure pass and I knew I was probably going to be the only one to see this spot today!

Thank you for sharing, Mental Fairy. It is beautiful!

Friends, the trauma informed yoga was amazing.

Once again, yoga is pursuing me. While I don’t dislike it, it has chosen me.

I’m maneuvering to attend more classes over the holidays.

Sometimes things in life pursue us.

Edit to add: I’m glad my words, humble and earthy as they are, Mental Fairy, provided you some encouragement during your run. You got a good cry out, and my chakras (which I claim not to believe in ) got a good trauma-flow out.

[Mental Fairy]

The yoga mat is a mirror my friend