Requiem for a vacuum cleaner.

[oak]

Friends, while I face big, deep issues, sometimes it is the daily and transitory and ephemeral that is the most real.

I appreciate my old vacuum cleaner.

It was the cheapest one Walmart sold in 2018, when I moved into my apartment. It was loud, and it worked well. It had a long cord.

I didn't vacuum as often as I should. My intense grief often manifests like, or is identical to, depression. So maybe that's why I didn't vacuum as much as I should in the four years I've lived here.

When I did vacuum, I made my space better. My mental space translated to my physical space. And I used a specialized tool to do so.

"I need to vacuum" I told myself every day through much of this troubled 2022. Sad to say, I'd often go weeks without vacuuming.

Earlier this summer I eventually cleaned. During its last running, it began smelling very strongly of smoke. I threw it away and used a newer vacuum I got during the pandemic.

It is not so much that I had any attachment to the vacuum: it is that it gave me the ability to help myself.

I could say the same thing about my air fryer (obesity) or Buspar (GAD). It is the small moments and forgotten things, what we leave behind without a second thought, that make up our lives.

[Mental Fairy]

This very topic came up in therapy for me! When i was in my last clinic and working more hours than the days could give me i used to go home and immediately pull out my vacuum! I kid you not! I would go home and plug it in and vacuum. I was doing with in an OCD kind of way. Even if someone else had done it that day i still did it! It was a control thing.
I still do it from time to time twice a day if i'm stressed!!!!

[snoringdog]

Hmm...Sorry for your loss Oak

I like to vacuum because I'm allergic to dust, and rooms smell better after it's done.
(Picking up beforehand is sometimes a drag though )

I do hate the motor noise and usually use earplugs. Also listen to music or podcasts during, like MIHH....

[oak]

Bump!

While searching for "smoke", comment on our good friend Snoring Dog's environmental smoke (which is back and worse than ever for me), I found this year-old thread.

That vacuum cleaner did a lot for me. Vacuum cleaners, disposable razors, ice water: these prosaic things make up so much of my mental health.