Working theory: "Something happened".

[oak]

My working theory
A brief example from today
What this may mean

My working theory

Anymore, friends, I realize that successful people can admit that something happened, when something happened.

Failures cannot, and won't, admit something happened.

Note: I didn't "good" or "bad" people, just successes and failures.

A brief example from today

This morning, during a meeting that began with a Zoom snafu, my conscience told me to apologize to my colleague for being rude. I did apologize, and we were laughing about it ten seconds later.

Note: I was not "good": I was rude to my colleague. Yet I admitted that something happened. We got it all out, and moved on.

What this may mean

To the extent that I've succeeded in life (getting a master's degree, getting sober, overcoming GERD and obesity) it is because of this working-theory schema:

1. Something happened.
2. I had something to do with with what happened.
3. I'm a grown man with agency, so I can fix/mitigate/prevent this from happening again, because these consequences (FAFO) suck.

If the perfect is the enemy of the good, then that may be all I need, structure-wise, to fix these current problems: I don't earn enough (change careers), I'm lonely (go to yoga classes), my triglycerides are high (quit pop).

See, friends? I spent zero time defending my self-defeating choices (and they are choices). Since I'm spending zero spoons on defending myself, I can spend those spoons on saving myself... from me.

[Mental Fairy]

Very interesting points their Oak.

Acknowledging something happened and moving forward is healthy. Something I’ve noted over time is some people can let go of that something and others cannot for the life of it cope with the letting go of that something.

I fear I’m the latter.

Then there’s the time frame is holding on to these moments. What’s a healthy time frame
How do you built that timeframe and most of all how on earth do we let go?

My brain clearly works overtime when not working!