Panic attack Thursday. Steps to mitigate this 2023.

[Mental Fairy]

I am thinking maybe a bit of gum infection. Warm salt water mouth washes will help the gum. Ask them to take a PA x-ray to check the apex of the root and make sure there is no dark area around the apex of the root.

Meanwhile pinch of salt on warm water. Rinse and spit. Do it as much as possible. The first six months after a root canal can be a bit rocky.

Feel so useless over this end of the planet. So sorry.

[oak]

I am thinking maybe a bit of gum infection. Warm salt water mouth washes will help the gum. Ask them to take a PA x-ray to check the apex of the root and make sure there is no dark area around the apex of the root.

Meanwhile pinch of salt on warm water. Rinse and spit. Do it as much as possible. The first six months after a root canal can be a bit rocky.

Feel so useless over this end of the planet. So sorry.

Thank you Mental Fairy. I’ll let you know what they say.

Also, finally something we disagree about : not only are you not useful, you are very kind and useful. The salt water will bring considerable comfort to me.

Lastly, last time I was there I received unambiguous signals of interest from the young lady at the front desk. I’ll also report, if she is there Monday, if she gives any signals.

[snoringdog]

Friday: Dress-up drinks/dancing at regional world-class museum. I don't know anyone, or have a date, but I'm going anyway.

That sounds like fun, good for you!

Museums are wonderful. So many "conversation pieces", and the focus doesn't need to be on you.

Relax & enjoy yourself

[oak]

Museums are wonderful. So many "conversation pieces", and the focus doesn't need to be on you.

Well said, SnoringDog. I’ll let you know how it goes!

[Mental Fairy]

If it was legal I would live in a library or meusem!

My niece today had me in stitches as she is a big book person. After the race we were laying on the muddy grass waiting for prize giving and she yawned which made me yawn and then my friend yawn. She sat up and said very nonchalant way ‘Aunty Gia wouldn’t it be great if farts were catchy like yawns, especially in a library or a museum!’

Omg I laughed so hard, then other started and the chain of people repeated it. It was the highlight of my day! And seeing her cross the finish line.

[oak]

Hi friends.

Today I began to spiral, mentally, with discouragement.

Somehow I was able to run the dishwasher, shower and shave, and go to the grocery store.

These are enormous accomplishments for me.

Should I have gotten fried chicken and donuts?

No.

Did I need to?

Probably. And they were very good.

In addition to two counseling sessions this week, I am trying to hold on until the big swing dance Saturday.

I am wary of getting in a mental rut.

[rivergirl]

Oak,

You don't have to convince me that the tasks you completed today are monumental when dealing with loneliness, grief, and other struggles.

About the comfort food ... "if you could have done something differently, you would have." (Quote from a friend encouraging me not to give so much energy to ruminating about what I "could have" done differently in the past.) So you can make a plan not to buy fried chicken and donuts on your next trip to the grocery store, but I'm glad you're not beating yourself up for what is past, and for needing comfort today.

Going to the dance sounds like a good way to get out of a mental rut. I'm looking forward to hearing about your experience there, and already consider your attendance an accomplishment regardless of the outcome!

rg

[Mental Fairy]

I agree with rg Oak. This dance sounds fun. Focus on your positives no matter how big or small. What are you going to wear?

If if makes you feel any better i have been munching on hot cross buns that i hide in my secret cupboard! They are so good.

[oak]

Thank you, as always, good friends River Girl and Mental Fairy.

1. Sometimes, especially when things are getting real, it is better to do the wrong thing than nothing.

Much like the upcoming swing dance, I got out of my head by going to the store. I felt better after eating, tracked it in my app, and now am eating fresh cherries and staying hydrated.

2. Dance attire: polo shirt, khaki pants, and flat-soled shoes.

Thank you for the encouragement, River Girl, and thank you for the specific question, Mental Fairy: you changed the modality of my thinking. I went from the past/present, to the future, and needed to use another part of my brain. You helped break my mental cycle of doom.

Next steps

I'll post after my root canal follow up tomorrow, but in the meantime, I am applying for jobs in my field.

The oddest thing: I know I've been having a breakdown for 2.5 weeks, and I am both doing better, and finding less emotional reserves. I do want to be careful about believing less in this narrative I'm telling myself, and more in the small details that will get me out of this (exemplified so well by Mental Fairy asking about what I'll wear Saturday).

Mental breakdowns are a strange thing, my good friends.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak

I am grateful you have sent that message. The first thing I wanted to ask was what you were doing to wear! These things matter!!

Men’s cologne? Hair slicked back or if you have no hair then roll with it! I’m a stickler for details. Envious you’re going really! I would go but only if there was a limited amount of people and if I get freedom to walk around the museum whenever I like!

Good luck for therapy this week. You helped me so much when I was going there. Forever grateful for that.