Things feel precarious today, as they often do on weekend mornings. I apologize in advance for how mundane this post is, but it somehow helps to write this and know that it may be read.
I tried to reach out to my brother last weekend and it was a complete failure that ended with him hanging up on me. I was able to talk to his wife after that, and it was okay, but I still feel bruised by the whole experience and more alone than before.
I'm getting a Covid booster today. I'm not worried about the vaccine, but I'm worried because I have to skip my RA medication for it to be effective, and when I did that with an earlier booster it caused several weeks of a painful flare up and permanent partial hearing loss/tinnitus.
Sometimes I can just allow the grief and loneliness to be there here without resisting. Sometimes even a small connection with anyone helps. I feel both gratitude for any connection, even with a stranger, but at the same time it never feels like what I really need.
So, my plans are to go out to do a little shopping after the vaccine, then pick up Italian takeout for our dinner that my mom requested. This evening I plan to do laundry, work on taxes, and catch up this forum with you beautiful people
Thank you for being here.
rg
