My daily struggle with nihilism (eg everything exists, and is meaningless),

[oak]

Our good friend Mental Fairy, in her fine thread pasted below, asked the question "What gets you up each day?"

https://mentalpodforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=53863#p53863

If I may, I'd like to rephrase this excellent question:

Why do I, Oak, not give into nihilism/hoplessness/sloth?

Why did I go to barre class this morning at 6:30 am?

The drive was stressful, I was sore, and I suck at barre.

In his fine book "The War on Normal People", Andrew Yang makes one argument that there is considerable motivation for young men to get hooked on video games, junk food, and opiates. If the employment deck is stacked against them, why not just give up?

He states this more eloquently than I just did, and I have to admit I find such "giving up" seductive.

Yet today I went to barre, stayed sober, and have a position with a modest title but considerable responsibility. Today I shaved and wore clean clothes. Yesterday I vacuumed my apartment.

That Said

To get back to Mental Fairy's question: why did I get out of bed today, May 23?

1. I want a summer romance.
2. I want to see how my professional story turns out.

I'm broke and lonely.

Hopelessness, sloth, nihilism: none of these will get me what I most want.

I seduced by nihilism, and have to fight against it ten times a day, through little actions. Nihilism is more appealing to me than I want to admit, though I usually win.

[oak]

1. I want a summer romance.
2. I want to see how my professional story turns out.

I'd like to get specific about my second "why":

The fact is that I cannot afford to do my favorite annual thing, which is to spend the weekend going to a swing dance on the other side of the state, each June.

That said, there is a Halloween swing dance, in the same location, in late October.

If I get my ducks in a row and find higher paying work in the next five months, then attending the October dance is very possible, even likely.

And that is why I get out of bed: to see how this story ends.

Just like in a movie, you wonder what will happen to the guy.

I have all the resources and motivation I need and will get: like Whitney Houston said, the answers are all up to me.

This is a compelling reason for me to get out of bed on Tuesday, May 23: who will I be in October?

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak

This was a captivating post.

It’s really got my cogs turning in the space between my ears.
Listening to a podcast recently called family secrets I have really reflected on the damage secrets do to people. We don’t normally vocally express our secrets to anyone, let alone someone we know.

Why am I mentioning this ? Well if someone at your work asked you that same question of why you get up each day would you tell them to their face or brush it off with a laugh and say something different just to get away from the truth of what you really want in life because you feel embarrassed or ashamed in some way?

Yet on the forum we are so open and honest in our posts because we fear no real judgement? I know if you were to walk through the door of my office right now I would answer you honestly. Would I answer the same question with the same response to a stranger, probably not.

I found that there was a phone in New York somewhere where you can pick up the receiver and tell your secrets. You know it will be heard by someone on the other end eventually when it is played back to the people who set this up. I also heard there was an artist whom set up a space so you can write your hopes on one note and fears on another and stick it to a wall to make art out of peoples hopes and fears.

What I find interesting is I personally have no concerns about telling you or the others on this forum what gets me up everyday, what makes my heart sad, sing or explode.
Yet I wouldn’t tell those things to anyone else around me for some reason.

You give me comfort of acceptance, you and everyone on here have meaning to others. That’s what gets us up each day. We have meaning. Objects not so much at the end of the day.

[oak]

You give me comfort of acceptance, you and everyone on here have meaning to others. That’s what gets us up each day. We have meaning. Objects not so much at the end of the day.

Very well said, Mental Fairy. Thank you for sharing.

And yes, none of us use our real name here, yet are more honest than with people who know our actual names.

Speaking of podcasts, thank you for the recommendation. I just downloaded the episode about telenovelas, and will report back.

And, as I found in my family of origin, family secrets are more important than actual family members. I found this out when I asked about recessive genes I might be carrying: my parents chose to never speak to me again rather than admit there is a dermatological issue made manifest through our recessive genes.

In a little lighter note...

Some "secrets" podcast recommendations of my own:

"This Is Actually Happening"

https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/

"The Secret Room

http://www.thesecretroompodcast.com/

Both of these have episodes that are hit or miss.

Also, here is a classic website, "Postsecret":

https://postsecret.com/