Dreams: repository, theory of, waking dreams, lessons & warnings; woo welcome.

[oak]

Friends, for a few weeks I've been meaning to start a thread about dreams, and y'all are welcome to post.

Speaking strictly for my myself, for my dreams, the way my mind works, I'd like to post about:

1. The content of the dreams.
2. Dream theories that have helped me.
3. Potential lessons and warnings from them.
4. Woo is welcome (eg, waking life is so constantly oppressive literal: dreams, for all their terror, speak in poetic truths).
[Edit to add] 5. Waking dreams (eg recurring thoughts, usually of the non-distressing kind).

I'll post now and then about my dreams. In the meantime, y'all are welcome to share yours.

[manuel_moe_g]

What usually happens to me with an unsettling dream is that I forget all the details of the dream but the mood of the dream lingers on for hours

The worst is when the mood of the dream is loneliness and desperation for connection and isolation

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you for this Oak, just woke at 3am, very difficult night of dreams full of my family members, retaliation on their behaviour. After three dreams all very detailed right down to the house being made out of mosaic pieces. I saw my mother clearly, my grandmother, the street I grew up in. Very frustrating. I think I did walk again as I noted some things out of please this morning. Not been like this in months.

[oak]

Well said, dear friends Manuel Moe and Mental Fairy. I'll look forward to more posts from you with interest.

Dream content: Twice in the last week I went to "the basement" to get advice from my father.

Theory: Anything underground (or underwater) has to do with the deep things, eg usually my subconscious.

Warning: I am not sure I am ready to admit the message of this dream to myself, much less to my friends here. Said another way: I know very well what the message/warning is, but it is easier [short term] to repress it.

Woo: Neither moral or immoral, my dream-self is wholly amoral. He is not opposed to political correctness: he has no concept of a society to transgress against, even transgression of thought.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak and Manuel Moe

Manuel Moe, I understand how the feelings leave a stamp on your emotions for the following hours after waking. Take a while to shake it off.

Oak, very interesting you go down into the basement, something I am familiar with myself with dreams. I wonder why your dad specifically? Why not a stranger or other member of your family. I feel my mother in my dreams is like a torment and my grandmother a peace keeper. If I see my grandfather I generally wake up and cry. I’m yet to see my twin. I hardly ever have dreams of living people. Very rare.

[oak]

Hi Mental Fairy!

I've heard a theory about dreams that each character in a dream is a manifestation of the dreamer, a different aspect of ourselves, and often an aspect we seriously do not want to face or admit.

Said another way: everyone in my dreams is a manifestation of me, and everyone in your dreams is a manifestation of you.

(I'm not sure if I believe that, but I've always liked "good enough" working theories.)

My theory/guess is that, in my dreams my father represents the truths about myself I can't face: it is easy to put my faults onto him.

Said another way, rather than face an ugly truth about myself, I project (as it were) onto the dream-character of my father.

Like you, I've never dreamed of most of my family members.

Places

I do dream of versions* of my childhood home and my undergrad college, Kent State.

I use a (*) above to suggest that these "Kent States" and "childhood homes" aren't the actual Kent State and childhood home of my waking life. Yet I still know that they are "Kent State".

Maybe an alternate reality of Kent State. Which leads me to...

A woo-woo idea

Do I believe in astral traveling? Other dimensions? Escaping "the simulation"?

I'm not sure if I believe in any of the above, but they do go a long way to explaining something I can't otherwise:

99% of dreams I forget immediately.

1% I remember to this day, especially the visuals.

Why?

The only thing that makes sense to me is that my soul/spirit is leaving my "local"/ordinary dream, and given a view of an alternate reality. (btw, these are very troubling dreams.)

Again, would I bet my next paycheck on this? No.

But I have yet to hear a more compelling explanation.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak

Super interesting topic my friend. I asked myself the same question. I think the mind has a way of unfolding while we sleep. I don't have the ability to forget my dreams for some reason. They play on my mind the following day, weeks years, not by choice. I have tried tirelessly to forget dreams. It really boils down to the events in my life while awake, the fears i have, the beautiful moments and also the mundane moments.

I do NSDR at least twice a week, normally on a day i don't run so i can get the mind to settle down a little and accept rest. I do this through Ally Boothroyd YouTube channel. Rosalie Yoga on YouTube also teaches a form of relaxation i really don't understand such as astral projection. I find it similar to hypnosis. After doing many months of clinical hypnosis locally i found a huge shift in my mindset. Reveri App is great for this if you don't want to do in clinic versions. Hypnosis i found took some fear away for me. I still remember the places i went to with incredible detail while under hypnosis, i still go to those places in my mind to help calm myself.

I guess visualization is similar to astro mind set. I do notice if i take the time to do visualization of my runs and map it out in my head three times prior to a run i do much better, this morning was a classic example. Training for this race in three weeks has been difficult and i noticed it's creeping into my sleep. The thoughts of being around people, not being in the same city and staying away from the family has really upset the mind. I spent hours going over google earth mapping out a mental picture of my run, it is difficult as we are running over very very active volcanic areas. I need to learn to let that go, i need to just be, just be in the now and not fixate on the little details three weeks from now. As long as i cover all my bases on being prepared i should be fine, i even contacted Hotel yesterday to ask for a room facing the volcanic active zones so i can get in the mindset to run over it the night before!!!!!

Last night my brain felt like it had a conversation with me, i was in a dream and asked my gran where Mazie was, she replied saying she is on the couch asleep but will come to bed soon. I woke up and moments later i see a tail going along the bottom of the bed!! I even worry in my sleep!!!

After my Grampy died i fell into a pit mentally and worked like a robot, the dreams i had of him were so real, i could feel his whiskers. When i learnt only recently i was yet to deal with the grief of having no family left i broke, even years later. The dreams became an escape to try and see them again. I would will myself to see my grandma and Grampy. Yet not once have i seen my twin. Yes, mum a few times and dad from time to time.
Using visualization techniques, i would sit on my yoga mat and go into a deep state of relaxation. I would then picture each individual family member or a patient and focus on them and their specifics. Facial features, movements, talking pitch, quirks. My emotional response to each is all so different. When in a dream state it is much the same. I still cry and ache for my Grampy every time but not as bad as i used too. Dreams can be healing, fraught with tension and anxiety. But one thing i have learnt is we are one long blink away from the next one.

Being back at work this week has also caused some mental gymnastics, knowing i will be facing more life and more death than many, i have to prepare myself mentally for this. I can't imagine not being in this role currently. I just have to learn to cope in different ways depending on what is presented to me.

Writing my dreams down when i wake would take hours.

[oak]

Mental Fairy, thank you for sharing!

You have a rich and active dream life. I'm not sure I could handle such a vivid dream life!

Yet not once have i seen my twin.

Perhaps, as an exercise just for funsies (eg not expecting an outcome), as an alternative to waiting for your twin, you can try "creating space" for them. Specifically, you can (taking no more than a minute or two) list three things you'd most like them to know, and meditate on that list briefly before bed. Then let go of the outcome.

Sometimes when we give, it creates space to receive.

Something to consider!

Writing my dreams down when i wake would take hours.

Perhaps you can ask your psyche for a brief, anodyne dream about planning for your run in the coming weeks?

Also, and this is totally up to you, but I think your race prep would well deserve its own thread here in the forum. I know I'd read it with interest.

I just have to learn to cope in different ways depending on what is presented to me.

Perhaps, again keeping this simple (as short as one sentence) and just for funsies, you can ask your psyche for dream-advice about how to get through this very week.

I still cry and ache for my Grampy every time but not as bad as i used too. Dreams can be healing, fraught with tension and anxiety.

If my brother visits in one of your dreams, please ask him if he thinks I am living my life so as to be a decent human/man/citizen.

[Mental Fairy]

You Oak, are very valuable to us here.

[oak]

You Oak, are very valuable to us here.

Thank you, Mental Fairy!

Friends, a quick word of why I included "waking dreams" in this thread with an example, of all things, of Paul McCartney.

The man is an icon, a legend, and probably a genius. Yet I've not spent much bandwidth being interested in his (admittedly great) oeuvre, or 80s music.

Yet for the last week all I can think about is his song, "My Brave Face".

https://youtu.be/0Ty8NTNj6JI

(That man can write a hook.)

I consider this a "waking dream" because like a sleeping-dream my subconscious keeps bringing to my conscious attention something I don't care to think about.

Something that occurred to me, just now

Looking at the lyrics...

https://genius.com/11682955

... one notices that is about a sentimental man who misses the feminine energy in his life.

Like all of my dreams, waking dreams or otherwise, I'll awkwardly back from facing these harsh truths, and pacify myself with short-term satisfaction of not seeing what is right in front of me.

How could that go wrong?