Mental health: living according to values and principles: 2017 and now.

[oak]

Hi friends.

Right now, as we speak, I find myself in exactly the same situation I was in, professionally, in late 2017.

Back then, my then-supervisor asked me to do something I was uncomfortable with, ethically. I asked for an email instructing me to do this "great new idea"; we have a legal department that is explicitly meant for these exact situations. I got email "authorization" from my supervisor, but not from legal. I caved, did the stupid thing. While nothing came of the situation professionally, bad as an idea as it was, I was wracked with anxiety, had a severe panic attack, and it ruined my holiday season.

I promised myself I'd never put myself in that situation again: I'd resign before doing so.

Would you believe I'm in that exact same situation, years later? A "great new idea", not following procedures, all very last minute, and all dependent on me putting my name on the proverbial TPS report.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TPS_report

I'll keep you posted.

What I am getting at: mental health is so much about knowing and sticking to our values and principles. We may have to lose things, a job in this situation, if others want us to compromise, just for their plans. And maybe everyone discussed above is purely innocent and has only good intentions.

Maybe. I'm not sure.

But I do know that my conscience is worth more than a job.

[oak]

Brief update 1:

I compiled the TPS report, and emailed it to my supervisor.

I stated that I’ll be glad to promptly send it if instructed, but will wait in the meantime since this request follows none of our procedures.

Again, just like in 2017 it is all rush-rush, with the wrong people requesting info they shouldn’t have, putting my name to something I’m not comfortable with.

[oak]

In these situations there is a fine line between ethics and insubordination.

The reason I’m not having a panic attack this time is because I made a decision years ago: I’m ready to resign before compromising again. If they want to pressure me, I resign. All cool like, because I decided this in 2017.

Said another way: people try to fluster us when pressuring us for this nonsense. And maybe that is what growth is about: recognizing these mind games and not playing them (again).

[manuel_moe_g]

Good luck, Oak. Praying for you, wishing you all blessings, you deserve them

You live your life admirably, and you deserve to hear that — it is true

[troebia]

Oak, you posted a link to the Wikipedia definition of TPS report (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TPS_report) and just about everything about it seems totally useless and mindless!

[oak]

Oak, you posted a link to the Wikipedia definition of TPS report (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TPS_report) and just about everything about it seems totally useless and mindless!

Yes, Troebia, the TPS is a Maguffin: they don't care about the report itself, just working out the psychodrama in their head: I want I want I want. Me me me. I don't care who gets hurt, just so I get what I want this moment.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacGuffin

Good luck, Oak. Praying for you, wishing you all blessings, you deserve them

You live your life admirably, and you deserve to hear that — it is true

Thank you, Manuel Moe!

After not hearing from my supervisor today, which is odd because he is always so good about replying, I have a feeling we're headed to a denouement (eg I resign or get let go) this week.

I say this because we have new leadership, and last month they unceremoniously let my grandboss go. A new broom sweeps clean, and they want their own people. Plus, while I accomplished what they hired me for, it is clear that I have little motivation to take my job accomplishment to the next level, because...

While a downer, me resigning might be the best for everyone. Especially for me, since crime is rampant. In addition to my experience of being verbally harassed/threatened 5-10 times in the last year in the environs of my office building/parking lot, two weeks ago a colleague was carjacked at gunpoint in our parking lot. I need to get out, my friends.

I'll keep you posted!

[gfyourself]

Hope it works out, Oak!

[oak]

Hope it works out, Oak!

Thanks gfyourself!

The good news: I successfully covered myself with email authorization and did the stupid thing.

The bad news: the difficult questions I asked about why we are in the situation in the first place: oh goodness did my supervisor (who is otherwise a good person) not want to have that conversation.

In the larger picture, I am amazed at how people, grown adults, do not want to face systemic issues.

And maybe that’s the larger picture of this thread: not so much about any given mishegas, but why we are in this situation in the first place.

But “why” is a question many people don’t want to face.

[snoringdog]

Hello Oak,

In addition to my experience of being verbally harassed/threatened 5-10 times in the last year in the environs of my office building/parking lot, two weeks ago a colleague was carjacked at gunpoint in our parking lot.

That is absolutely horrible. (I remember you writing about this before). I should think the company would hire a security guard or have the local police station a car.

What did your colleague do? Did he report this?

[oak]

Hi SnoringDog.

There was a police report, and notification. Nothing came of the search for the perpetrators. Like my work situation, nothing will change.

I value your advice: do you agree with my assessment that I owe it to myself to find another job, in a safer location?