Fixation/"social" advice?

[Squash]

I have no idea where to put this on the boards so I guess I'm putting it here.
I'm sort of looking for advice maybe? Or at least someone impartial to help my idiot brain decide what's right. I'm a Tumblr user and to be honest most of my social interactions go on there. Back in October/November, I accidentally started fixating on this other Tumblr user, idolizing them without realizing it. Basically, I really really admire their intelligence and opinions etc etc but I guess my social anxiety made me assume that they're out of my "friendship league" so I just sort of made vague posts about them instead because I was too nervous to ask if they wanted to be online friends with me and tell them I wanted to get to know them better. So I guess it went on for about a month or so and around November they messaged me and called me out on it. I apologized and admitted that I was an idiot who doesn't know their own brain and stopped making posts about them etc etc.
But the problem is I still really really want to be friends with them. The weird buildup of idolization or whatever has been knocked down now that I've been made aware of it. I guess I just don't know how to approach the situation, or whether to approach it at all. I don't want to bother this person, or upset them, or further creep them out. I guess I'm torn between my guilt at being such an asshole and the possibility that that person might be better off not being bothered by me or that they might be uncomfortable talking to me now, and my wanting to have conversations with them again like we did at the beginning and wondering if maybe something is salvageable now that I've become aware of my bullshit, and maybe I can ask for forgiveness and we can start over (because the idiot optimist in me apparently believes that's something that can happen in real life and not just fiction).
I realize that this is actually the second time I've done this to a person. But the first time started when I was a sophomore in high school with a classmate and the guy I idolized kind of had to resort to be a jerk to me when we were coworkers at a camp 4 or 5 years later. He's nice to me now, and I think he's forgotten, but now that I've been really made aware of what I did, I feel really guilty about that too. I kind of want to apologize to him as well and ask for forgiveness or whatever. But at the same time I have no idea if it's still an issue for him or something he was even aware of (I'm pretty sure he was; I know our director was). Like the other person, I don't have the issue with idolization anymore. But I never actually realized what it was until this second time and now I feel shitty about it.
My main problem is the first one, and whether or not I walk away from the person altogether or ask them if they're willing to forgive me and try again. Because I'm the one in the wrong, and it's basically entirely their decision and I think I'll be alright if they decide they don't want to. Mostly I'm just scared of making them feel uncomfortable or whatever again if I DO ask. The other guy isn't as much of a problem since it hasn't really been an issue for a few years now and we only see each other during the summers when we work at camp. It's just that the guilt over that one has been dug up again and I'm wishing I could do something about it. But yeah, I guess I just needed to write that all out and if anyone has an advice please let me know because it's very frustrating when both sides of the decision have equal amounts tug in either direction in my head.

[Mentalart]

Wow, that's interesting. I think I can relate a little from using Twitter - there's a guy who follows everyone that I follow but doesn't follow me... I like his posts a lot but it seems like he thinks he's too good for me...

Anyway, for your case, I think you should try again one more time to let the other person know you still want to be friends. Don't say anything you'll regret later if his answer ends up being No. Also realize that they may just ignore the message if they feel uncomfortable.

Even if you do become friends, that can be hard to express online and you may end up feeling like you're not getting enough from the friendship. Maybe you can meet others like this person who are more interested in friendship.

Good luck! Hope it goes well!