Covid update

[rivergirl]

I know the forum isn't supposed to be political so I'll avoid mentioning any particular politician or party. And thank you to anyone who indulges me by reading this.

I'm feeling real despair this past week about the U.S. getting the pandemic under any kind of control, and about the attitudes and behavior that I'm seeing from my elected leaders, religious leaders, fellow residents, and even from my own family in some cases.

I would never minimize the devastating effects of the shutdowns, unemployment, and school closures, especially since I'm personally dealing with the mental health effects of being at home so much in a living situation that I find difficult. I know that I'm lucky to still have an income and health insurance at least for the near future, and I want everyone to have access to an income and health care.

At the same time, since before Memorial Day weekend I've been pretty shocked to see the way people are disregarding public health recommendations by crowding beaches, bars, churches and other public venues in the county I live in. My own city has had several anti-mask protests already.  I've heard national and local politicians, church leaders, and even some of my own pro-life relatives indicate that it's okay to sacrifice certain categories of people if that's what it takes to restart the economy.

I'm in a high risk group myself because I take an immunosuppressant medication daily, but my biggest concern is that I live with my mom who is 93 and in an even higher risk group. I'm scared that the people who aren't wearing masks and social distancing are increasing the chance that I'll get infected when I have to go to work and to do other essential activities, and that I'm going to infect my mom. I'm not so worried about my own risk as I am about being responsible for my mom's death.

I've stopped reading my relatives' FB posts about the anti-mask protests they're attending and about how the "weak" people should just stay home.

It breaks my heart to think about all of the people who have suffered and died alone in hospitals or in senior facilities with no family present.

I apologize for the long and depressing post.  I'm truly grateful for all of the health care and other frontline workers, and all of the kindnesses that people are showing to each other including those shown to total strangers.  I was probably too naive in my expectations that most people would behave in altruistic ways, or perhaps too naive about the area where I live and the way that some of my own relatives would react.

Take care everyone and I hope you all stay safe and well.

rg

[rivergirl]

I regret my lengthy post now. I should have just said I'm feeling afraid and alone right now. I know a lot of people are in the same or worse situations.

[Beany Boo]

You carry a lot of responsibility and it’s not at all fair on you. I know how hard it is to let it go though, even for a brief rest. And the solution seems to be to do everything to take it all on. It’s okay to walk away from the problem without trying to solve it anymore, and have a different life that is also meaningful.

If anything your post is spot on. But if being right wears you out; then that’s not right.

Write as much as you want; this is the place. But you can also shed the responsibility here too. And be light.

[manuel_moe_g]

I know a lot of people are in the same or worse situations.

Suffering is not a competition. You have a right to be heard. Please keep writing, you are a good writer. You captured a lot of my thoughts about Covid. Thank you.

[oak]

Agreed with the others!

Please keep posting. We love to hear from you.

[rivergirl]

Hey guys,

Thanks so much for the replies. I didn't think it would help to post here, but it did a little, enough to get me through a particularly rough few days. I felt heard.

I have more to say but not the energy to say it. Maybe another day.

Thanks again,

rg

[Heatherwantspeace]

Hi Rivergirl,
I'm dealing with a bunch of stuff in my own head right now, but I did want to say how nice it always is to hear from you.
Heather

[rivergirl]

Hi Heather,

It's great to hear from you too. I've been thinking about you a lot since reading your thread about experiencing a mother's love. I wasn't able to reply at the time, but sending you warm thoughts.

rivergirl

[snoringdog]

Hello Rivergirl,

Glad to hear from you, and I agree with everything in your post. The stupidity and arrogance of people is really disgusting. I'm not antisocial, but when I hear about this stuff I really just want to disengage.....

Can't read too much of the news because it either depresses or enrages me, both to my detriment.

Now I just posted a rant. Don't know if I feel better, but there it is.
(Trying to keep an even keel, and a sense of humor...)

[rivergirl]

Thank you for your reply, snoringdog.

It doesn't sound like much of a rant, but I hope it helped a little to post it.

I had an unsettling experience on Friday regarding taking Covid precautions, and am feeling ashamed. I went out with a friend who I know has less concern about Covid than I do, and who believes that some of the recommended precautions are political rather than truly necessary. We went to a brewery with socially distanced outdoor seating, but as the evening went on and it got more crowded, people were joining our table and sitting just a foot or two away, not wearing masks and talking and singing loudly. By that point I was a little too drunk or just too timid about expressing my opinion, so I remained at the table even though I felt uneasy.

I will continue to follow my usual practices this week, but am feeling like a hypocrite for engaging in behavior I've criticized in others.

rivergirl