stressed out

[the cheat]

have you guys ever felt so stressed out that you feel like you just can't possibly stand it any longer?

i have been feeling this way for the past few months, because i can't find a job and i'm going to be kicked out of my current living situation. the stress and anxiety has been really overwhelming and, yeah...

[manuel_moe_g]

Yeah, when I am anxious and panicky and feel out of control and feel like I can count on nothing in my world, I find I can only get 1 or 2 minutes of work done, to my great shame. I am trying to remind myself that doing those 1 or 2 minutes of work is important - I don't want to make a judgement about a pathetic rate of work to depress myself into doing no work at all. Take care, all the best!

[next year]

I have had times where it is just one fucking thing after another. The way my mind works is that when I'm in crisis I get my shit together. I'm very efficient. I have my breakdowns when things are going well, so as not to inconvenience others. Seriously, it's like it takes my mind and body a while to process whatever I've been through and then I kinda lose it after the fact.

But I do know that feeling of everything piling up, fighting fire after fire, and it is really exhausting. Hang in there.

[CallSignKay]

I'm sure it is stressful to be facing that amount of uncertainty. If you're like me, your brain is busily coming up with all the negative outcomes of your situation and each one is more depressing than the worst. But try not to think that way. I know it's easier said than done, but try to focus on the things you can control. If you can change it or fix it, put it at the top of your to-do list. If you can't, shove it to the backburner. Do whatever you can to get out of your own head--go for a walk, volunteer, read, draw, whatever. Ask people for help. I know it's tough, but most people are too busy worrying about their own problems to notice yours until you point them out and say, "Hey, what do you think I should do about this?"

Good luck, and good hunting!

[the cheat]

so, now what's happening isn't that stressful, but, oh my god, is it worse. my grandmother died a few months back. she and i were very close, i'd been living with her for ten years. of course, i had to be the one to find her body, which was not that big a deal to me. i'm sure most people would freak out about that... i guess i've just been through so much shit, that nothing phases me.

anyway, there's a lot of grief going on. i miss her a lot. still feels surreal, like this is a nightmare bizzaro world. so, there's that. i also have been livin in my stepdad's house. we hate each other, and i'm always worried about being kicked out. i still can't find a fucking job. all my stuff is in storage, draining my savings. my friends have been pretty flakey about helping me, or even hanging out.

it's just a lot.

all things considered, i am handling it ok. i haven't been abusing drugs or hurting myself. or acting out... i've just been dealing. crying, talkin it out with friend in oregon, keeping busy as best i can. you know i've just gotta do what i can, and hope that time will heal me.