Mind Body and Trauma

[rivergirl]

Thank you for your beautiful post, Mental Fairy. You've endured so much trauma and darkness in your life, but your spirit still shines through. I'm encouraged that you're beginning to feel that your physical and mental health are important and that you're worthy of some of the same care that you've given freely to others. Heartfelt wishes for some healing moments in your near future.

[Mental Fairy]

Oak, you my friend are a legend. Absolute legend.
Thank you Rivergirl, you are just as worthy.

[oak]

Thank you for the kind words, Mental Fairy.

I hope you're doing well. I know you've had a big week.

Feel free to share if/when you feel ready to.

In the meantime, you are Enough. You just keep being you.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak

Week thus far is weird. Monday felt like it went forever. Tuesday I went home and my husband walked in just after me. Our son wasn’t home but he had cooked dinner for us. My husband rings our son on phone and it connects to his car. He answers and said he was grabbing something from supermarket and then we hurt what sounded like an explosion. He was unfortunately in a car accident at that very moment. Thankfully he is ok but very upset as his car is his baby. Only had it 5 months. That moment we heard the accident I noted I went into some weird place in my head. My husband immediately grabbed the keys to his truck and said to me to get in car. I couldn’t. I actually couldn’t. I froze. I said I’m not going, I don’t want to see it, I’m not going. He actually screamed at me and told me to get in the car.

We get to the accident scene and the person who hit him is a really nice person. Super nice. So I was told. I refused to get out of the car. Couldn’t look at the car. Couldn’t face the scene.
I didn’t speak all night. I just processed it.
My mind went nuts. Thought of all the possibilities that it could of been. I had to remind myself he is ok. He is safe.

Since then it’s been nightmare after nightmare. My nerves are shot.
My son got home and I just gave him a hug, told him we have insurance and cars, homes, contents can all be replaced. But no insurance on this earth can bring back a life. I hugged him again and went to bed. It felt like a massive trigger.

Work like is extremely busy with patients and endless flow of disease and treatments. Patient fainted on me today and immediately went into emergency response mode with her. I was very capable of dealing with it, but I can’t deal with my own sons accident response.

Crazy brains we have!!!
Great to hear from you.

[oak]

Mental Fairy, thank you for sharing.

I'm not given to speaking in absolutes, or categorically. But unfortunately I speak with considerable authority regarding the seriousness of car wrecks. (I'm sure you don't doubt me, but feel free to PM me, and I'll share the grim details of why I speak categorically below.

1. I am glad your son survived.
2. Your response is wholly natural and normal.
3. Every car wreck is a trauma.
4. Happily, please consider what a team you have: your husband, us, your therapist. Lots of people support you.
5. I encourage everyone reading this to immediately order and always use a dashcam.

You've been through a lot this week, Mental Fairy!

There are no easy answers.

As I close, if you'll indulge me, two cat memes created for you:

https://imgflip.com/i/6jttsm

https://imgflip.com/i/6jtuj7

[manuel_moe_g]

I am so glad for people like Oak, to be there for Mental Fairy! Superb stuff, like always!

[Mental Fairy]

I actually feel like I have a family. Strange I know!
Matt is doing ok, he’s just in shock. Think I’ve aged 10 more years in 48 hours!
Got into my yoga room about hour ago and let myself feel the day out. Processed emotions of the mind and muscles. Start my training plan for next phase of ultra run training this weekend so need to get the head in the zone for earlier mornings in the sleet and rain.
The moon here in the last five nights has been like something out of a fairy tale. Massive full yellow moon. Feels reachable.

Thinking of your all.

[manuel_moe_g]

Thinking of you, Mental Fairy! Be well. Hope you are on the path of being fulfilled and happy. We are all cheering for good luck to you!

[Mental Fairy]

What a crap day. Crying in my car as vet preforms emergency treatment on my cat. I came home at lunch time and found her struggling to breath.
I’m lost for words . Broken absolutely broken

[manuel_moe_g]

Oh no! Will pray for your cat to recover!