I feel suicidal when...

[Jitterz]

Sometimes I fantasize about killing myself when I see other women who are extremely beautiful, have perfect long hair, and have a pretty face. Sometimes I hate myself because of the way I look. I don't know if there is an underlying issue that goes deeper than just my looks that I'm unaware of, I know I'm not ugly but why do I feel this way?...

[fifthsonata]

Often times we project on to something tangible (like appearance) when we can't quite put a name or any explanation to inner turmoil. It's easier to control than that wave of self-doubt, anger, hatred...

[Beany Boo]

It sounds like a powerful envy has taken control of you. Feelings are horrible when you realise they exist and you desperately don’t want them; and not easy to let go of, for fear of losing things and people that are somehow associated to the feeling. Please trust that you can let go and the autonomy you gain eventually will be more than worth it.

Let me be clear though that if it is envy you're feeling; it doesn't affect or bother me.