Things that spur the issue

[minigrogs]

So I struggle with body and eating issues. Never full blown eating disorder, but disordered thoughts. Anyway, last week it has been bad. Oddly I had some medical stuff that led to me having to not eat for a day, liquid diet kind of thing. Somehow that spurred on a desire to restrict. I am still eating, but quickly lost a little weight, got positive compliments, and it is fueling something in me that I am not happy about. I am also feeling depressed right now, and alone. When I feel this way I can't stand that I can't talk about it with anyone. I only have a few people in my life I trust, and when they aren't available at these movements, I feel so intensely alone and scared.

[Cheldoll]

I struggle with body issues and disordered eating as well. I've always been thin, most likely related to my ethnicity/genes. So people never supported my anorexic behavior -- but when I started recovery, my family wasn't the best support. They would say "oh, you got fat" in Tagalog and, though they would insist that it was a compliment and they liked how I looked, I would bawl my eyes out and refuse to eat.

I understand how alone and scared you feel, but please know that you are absolutely not alone. I'm happy that you're sharing on the forum with us. If you want to talk more, please feel free to send me a private message. You and I don't know each other, but I do know how you are feeling. I know how dark depression leaves you. There is hope, though, and it lies in reaching out to people even when it's fucking terrifying.