I am stuck between wanting to weigh as little as possible, and wanting to be a muscular god. I don't really have the motivation to effect either. I can't get myself to go to the gym, even though it is literally a 10 minute walk away (I don't have my license, and it's quicker to walk than to wait half an hour for the bus just to travel one bus stop away
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon/lol.gif)
I don't know why I have the feelings of wanting to weigh very little. I don't really help it by binging, although I haven't been doing that as much as of late. Hell, as of late it's been hard to finish a slice of pizza. This seems to always happen in the summer, so, I bet I'll probably gain 20 pounds in the winter.
I do know why I have feeling of wanting to be muscular - gender. I'd look far more masculine if I had a bit of muscle on me. Plus, as much as I hate gender stereotypes, it's hard to get past the feeling that it isn't very manly not to be able to lift a pack of water bottles.
I don't know what I'm hoping to get out of posting this. I guess I just feel like doing something at 6:53 in the morning, so, might as well write things in a forum. >.>