Hypochondria.

[oak]

They say I am only as sick as my secrets, so here goes. I've been meaning to post about this for weeks.

In 2015 my work/life balance has gotten out of whack, and it is starting to tell on my mental and physical health.

I have very real physical symptoms of stress, including an ulcer last summer, stress headaches, and chest pain. Each of those has gotten better as I've taken better care of myself.

When I am HALT, especially late at night on weekends, I get fearful. I convince myself of terrible, dreaded diseases. Then I search google for the symptoms, and it is all confirmed, at least in my racing mind.

I've had some OCD behaviors for some years, and now I have these unwanted thoughts.

I don't know what my plan is, or next steps. A first step is posting here, which is a big step for me.

What has surprised me is how easy it has been for me to slide into this, how natural. Almost as if hypochondria chose me, is seducing me. Which sounds bizarre, I know.

Thanks for listening.

[manuel_moe_g]

When I am HALT, especially late at night on weekends, I get fearful. I convince myself of terrible, dreaded diseases.

I have noticed that being aware of my body posture and tension in my body, that I can anticipate negative thoughts/feelings before they arive sooner. Then I practice compassion on myself (being as compassionate as I would be to a small child) and then I think about how my capabilities have grown and continue to grow.

Thanks for posting this, great to see your posts, take care, all the best.