Abandonment issues

[DelicateFlower]

Hello everyone,
I’m in my twenties and in the past year started therapy for the first time due to major family issues, my own depression and anxiety, going to IOP and getting fired from my job because it was affecting my productivity and efficiency. All within 9 months.
I’ve had some bad experiences with therapists and finally found a good psychiatrist that I “click” with. He was the first person in my life that I feel comfortable telling all my deepest thoughts and ugliness to. He was the only person in this world that I’ve been so honest with. He was seriously my best supporter and has such a beautiful heart. I’m really sad because I have to discontinue because I’m moving in with family due to financial reasons. I can’t stand being away from him. I just want to selfishly keep him and all the beautiful souls I meet with me in my life. I really struggle with abandonment and feel really sad and broken. Sometimes I feel that I wish I didn’t meet these beautiful people like him so I wouldn’t have to go through the pain of having them be ripped from my life. But obviously I’d end up alone and I hate it. I tend to isolate. He was just beautiful, comforting, and I felt safe around him. This may be my longing to feel loved and cared for. I always imagined getting a big hug from him. I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know if it’s BPD or what. I just get dreadfully sad, and want to cry because I won’t have him in my life anymore.

How have others handled situations like this?