BPD and Self Medicating

[Mindful Mel]

I know I need to change my drinking habits, but I'm not really sure how. I don't think it's a matter of being physically addicted but rather not wanting to stop self-medicating. When I stop drinking I realize that I can't sleep without it and also the boredom and emptiness sets in. I have gotten medication to help me sleep, so that takes care of one issue, but even with the sleeping meds, there is that lull from the time I get home from work until I have to go to sleep. I just can't tolerate sitting with myself for those several hours, it's absolute torture.

[debbiekenny]

I think you should change your habits. Switch to meditation it helps to peaceful mind and soul. This can improve your sleeping. Don't drink at any cost.

[Mosesvampslayer]

The self medicating can appear in tons of forms, I'm discovering myself doing this. I haven't tried meditation but that sounds like the worst thing I could do to help. I prefer to hide from feelings. I'm sure meditation would be good though. So the way I hide, instead of drinking, is either reading, porn, mountain biking, or TV. But the TV has to be either Family Guy, American dad, or Buffy the Vampire slayer. Shows I've seen 1000000 times before. It is comforting to watch something where I know the outcome. I guess for me mountain biking is like meditation. I have to focus on being in the moment because of the inherent danger. The only problem with that is on a down cycle I can't do it and that's probably when I need it most. I definitely am not at a healthy level of doing any of these but I would think finding a different way to hide would be better than drinking. It's tough being in your own head.