Fetish shame making me feel non-human

[nightcitysong]

Hi WBD,

I just came across this post and was really moved by your honesty and bravery. I came here becuase I wanted to tell you sound like a really cool person, and someone I would not find in anyway creepy. In fact, you make me feel comfortable as I also have many similar fetishes to you. In fact, millions of people do. Our fetishes are connected to things that were in fact trauma mixed up at a specific stage of sexual development. We don’t choose them. They form in our psyche and we cannot help having them. Of course, we just take responsibility to never act out anything that would harm someone - but fantasising or having a consensual role play session with someone is nothing you should be ashamed of, friend.

We live in an age where we are bombarded with sexual images from all angles at a VERY young age. It sounds like you were exposed to sexual imagery and given access without supervision from a young age to explore a lot of this. There is no education, guidance, or limits applied here…So how could you not? How would you, as a child or teenager know what is right or wrong there? Children are curious. Please consider your confused young self with compassion.

Regarding masturbation as a child. ALL children masturbate. There is a stage of development that is normal called Genital Stage. Children become fascinated with their sexual pleasure and touch themselves. They also often attempt to be sexual with their parents. By the time they are about 7/8 they cannot even remember doing this. Parents are responsible to begin to teach the child to stop this in public at an appropriate age and to set appropriate boundaries with the child. This is totally normal. You mentioned your sister was the one who sort of said “hey, stop that.” It sounds like your parents didn’t really do a good job of teaching you that, like teaching you what is appropriate or not. Not your fault, at all. You are clearly aware now of what is and isn’t so please don’t worry. You would also be surprised how extremely common what you have described is.

Regarding your Dad. What your describing is completely normal and happens to so many people. It is in fact and extremely popular fantasy. It’s called an Electra complex. Look it up. It can happen to many people and it’s a very popular fetish and nothing to be ashamed of. Your thoughts are distressing because you think you’re some kind of monster, or this means you are going to be inappropriate, but you’re not. You know on a realistic level you would never act on this, it’s simply a thought. I would encourage you to embrace your fantasy in private and to stop shaming yourself - it’s just a fantasy, it can’t hurt anyone and it’s not real! Millions of people share it. Every single person out there has their own bizarre fantasy in their mind, believe me.

You are not weird, you are not alone, and you are worthy of love. Much love to you.