HSDD? Please help
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Numbalternative3
- Posts: 1
- Joined: October 29th, 2015, 3:23 pm
- Gender: Female
- Issues: HSDD, depression, anxiety, self harm
- preferred pronoun: She
HSDD? Please help
So to give you guys a bit of a background, I'm a 23 year old female and I've been in a relationship with the same wonderful guy for over 6 years. I used to have a great sex drive but a few years into our relationship, it started to fade and now it's entirely nonexistent. He's a typical man and wants to do sexual things with me but I hate every second of it. I have no desire for any sexual contact with anyone, not just him. I looked into it and it sounds like HSDD. No I haven't been officially diagnosed yet. I'm already on wellbutrin for an unrelated issue and it doesn't do a thing for me sexually. This has been a huge problem whether I'm dealing with my depression and anxiety or whether I'm in a really good place mentally. I can't take this. I'm afraid he's going to break up with me because I don't deliver sexually and I know it makes him feel inadequate. I just need to know that someone out there understands me and I need to know that there's help for someone like me.
Re: HSDD? Please help
Hi numbalternative3,
I saw your post in October and was hoping it would be answered by someone who has experience with this issue, but I just noticed that it still hasn't received a reply. Your situation sounds painful and scary and my heart goes out to you. No matter what happens, you are worth so much more than just your ability to experience sexual desire and your ability to satisfy your boyfriend (I'm not discounting his pain either, but please don't define yourself based on this issue, or even on whether or not you end up having a relationship with him in the future.) I know that a lot of people experience a loss of desire because it comes up all the time on a couple of relationship/sex advice podcasts that I listen to. You're not alone and this happens to all kinds of people: male, female, gay, straight, bi, etc. Please don't blame yourself or allow this to keep you from making your physical and mental health a priority, even while you're looking for a solution to this issue. I'm sorry if this wasn't helpful because I don't feel like I have specific advice to give, but I just wanted you to know that I read your post and that I care.
rivergirl
I saw your post in October and was hoping it would be answered by someone who has experience with this issue, but I just noticed that it still hasn't received a reply. Your situation sounds painful and scary and my heart goes out to you. No matter what happens, you are worth so much more than just your ability to experience sexual desire and your ability to satisfy your boyfriend (I'm not discounting his pain either, but please don't define yourself based on this issue, or even on whether or not you end up having a relationship with him in the future.) I know that a lot of people experience a loss of desire because it comes up all the time on a couple of relationship/sex advice podcasts that I listen to. You're not alone and this happens to all kinds of people: male, female, gay, straight, bi, etc. Please don't blame yourself or allow this to keep you from making your physical and mental health a priority, even while you're looking for a solution to this issue. I'm sorry if this wasn't helpful because I don't feel like I have specific advice to give, but I just wanted you to know that I read your post and that I care.
rivergirl
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desertrose74
- Posts: 2
- Joined: March 22nd, 2016, 2:25 pm
- Gender: female
- Issues: HSDD, drug addict in recovery
- preferred pronoun: She
Re: HSDD? Please help
I'm a female who has HSDD. I cannot even begin to tell you the anxiety this situation causes me. I used to have the world's highest sex drive. Then, it just disappeared. I want it back, and I can't have it. I want to want sex, but I don't.
My husband is as awesome as anyone can be in this situation. He doesn't pressure, but I pressure myself. I cry often because I feel like he's been baited-and-switched. Sexual desire is just not something one can fake, I feel like it's obvious in my every move that I am completely unexcited. I still have the ability to orgasm, and he is very intent that I will orgasm every time, but it doesn't feel like that humongous explosion, release it used to be...it's a change in altitude comparable to stepping off a curb.
I desire to have sex, at this point only for the emotional connection with my husband. I desire to knock his socks off, and I feel embarrassed that I cannot provide for him in that way. And it's not that I'm no longer attracted to him, I'm not attracted to anyone.
I've always been sexually progressive, my husband and I are/were swingers, we met as swingers. I say were because my desire isn't there for anyone else, either, and we just don't swing much. The reason I bring this up is because I have encouraged my husband to find a female on the side to give him some strange and some excitement, and he has had just a few, but in the end this doesn't solve everything because there is still that element missing between us. I want to be the one that provides for his primary needs!
I'm participating in the clinical trials for bremanolotide, but at this point I'm convinced I'm in the placebo group because this stuff hasn't done anything.
Right now I feel like everyone else in the world sees in color, and I see grey...I want to feel like a woman again!
I just wanted to talk to some folks who are going through this, I'm tired of reading the clinical information on this.
My husband is as awesome as anyone can be in this situation. He doesn't pressure, but I pressure myself. I cry often because I feel like he's been baited-and-switched. Sexual desire is just not something one can fake, I feel like it's obvious in my every move that I am completely unexcited. I still have the ability to orgasm, and he is very intent that I will orgasm every time, but it doesn't feel like that humongous explosion, release it used to be...it's a change in altitude comparable to stepping off a curb.
I desire to have sex, at this point only for the emotional connection with my husband. I desire to knock his socks off, and I feel embarrassed that I cannot provide for him in that way. And it's not that I'm no longer attracted to him, I'm not attracted to anyone.
I've always been sexually progressive, my husband and I are/were swingers, we met as swingers. I say were because my desire isn't there for anyone else, either, and we just don't swing much. The reason I bring this up is because I have encouraged my husband to find a female on the side to give him some strange and some excitement, and he has had just a few, but in the end this doesn't solve everything because there is still that element missing between us. I want to be the one that provides for his primary needs!
I'm participating in the clinical trials for bremanolotide, but at this point I'm convinced I'm in the placebo group because this stuff hasn't done anything.
Right now I feel like everyone else in the world sees in color, and I see grey...I want to feel like a woman again!
I just wanted to talk to some folks who are going through this, I'm tired of reading the clinical information on this.