Hi, I haven't got any friends nearby, my closest friend is far away.
I have no money at all, so I can't join Meetup groups & no good support groups here.
how to make friends? I'm depressed so what do I do? Kijii, Craigslist , Advertisement ?
I could volunteer but who's to say the people will be in my age range, or if I could find someone to connect to. I may sound whining but I am for real willing to try.
So how do you make friends???please help
Im so lonely I could cry
Re: Im so lonely I could cry
Hello and thank you for posting.
I am glad you are using your voice. I appreciate your honesty.
Since you ask, I can offer some suggestions to consider that have worked for me. Tropes follow.
1. "To have a friend, be a friend". This means to create good feelings in others, with no expectation of kindness in return. You can do this at the grocery store, the gas station, during your daily life. You do this by being sincerely interested in others, even if you have to fake it at first. Which leads me to...
2. Read and apply "How to Win Friends and Influence People". This book helps people become likeable, and tells you exactly how to do it.
3. Become vulnerable and invite people to hang out. After you fake being sincere you will soon become genuinely sincere, and draw people to you. When people start to respond to you positively, find the courage to invite them to hang out.
Of course, by inviting people to hang out there is the very real possibility of people declining, aka "rejecting". I wish this wasn't so, but it is. "Rejection" is the price of admission.
But I can assure the momentary hurt of rejection is well worth the people who see your inherent dignity and worth and become your friends. Start by seeing the worth and dignity in others. Be kind when it is tempting to do otherwise.
Your goal is worthy. You may have to do some things differently. It will be worth it if you persevere.
Good luck.
I am glad you are using your voice. I appreciate your honesty.
Since you ask, I can offer some suggestions to consider that have worked for me. Tropes follow.
1. "To have a friend, be a friend". This means to create good feelings in others, with no expectation of kindness in return. You can do this at the grocery store, the gas station, during your daily life. You do this by being sincerely interested in others, even if you have to fake it at first. Which leads me to...
2. Read and apply "How to Win Friends and Influence People". This book helps people become likeable, and tells you exactly how to do it.
3. Become vulnerable and invite people to hang out. After you fake being sincere you will soon become genuinely sincere, and draw people to you. When people start to respond to you positively, find the courage to invite them to hang out.
Of course, by inviting people to hang out there is the very real possibility of people declining, aka "rejecting". I wish this wasn't so, but it is. "Rejection" is the price of admission.
But I can assure the momentary hurt of rejection is well worth the people who see your inherent dignity and worth and become your friends. Start by seeing the worth and dignity in others. Be kind when it is tempting to do otherwise.
Your goal is worthy. You may have to do some things differently. It will be worth it if you persevere.
Good luck.
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
Re: Im so lonely I could cry
Thank you for responding. I totally get what your saying.
Problem is I dont go out anywhere,
But you already answered that question in your response
I feel other than being depressed so boring this has not changed in awhile
How to deal, I imagine I will take a look at that book
Maybe I can download it free from the library
Cheers
Thank u again best to u
Problem is I dont go out anywhere,
But you already answered that question in your response
I feel other than being depressed so boring this has not changed in awhile
How to deal, I imagine I will take a look at that book
Maybe I can download it free from the library
Cheers
Thank u again best to u
C
Re: Im so lonely I could cry
Hi, if I am reading your question correctly, you are asking for help with the logistics of friendship making?
certainly, as one progresses thru life and issues and pursue help for any mental illness or emotional pain, who we are and who we want to be friends with changes.
Generally, making one or two friends will lead to more because you will meet their friends, get out more.
I don't know where you live but in the Chicago and the Denver areas, there are some meet ups that are pure social events - say hiking or getting together for picnics, there is one in Chicago called Free and Cheap.
If your area doesn't have one, see if you can get one started - tho I know there is some fee involved for that. or see if you can assist an organizer of a group to get a discount on activities. Or try to use the library to set up a book club or some other club based on a language or cause. or get a Saturday morning walkers club together that stops for coffee afterwards.
set up a doggie play group. dog people love groups.
What activities do you do? attend lectures or free concerts, walk slow thru the farmer's markets, ride a bike instead of driving, walk instead of biking, get out and chat with people in line with you at the grocery store, or at a coffee shop. become a regular somewhere like a coffee shop, a church, a group even.
and yes, volunteer - but not because you want to meet people but because you care about the cause and can. engaged people who care attract other people to them. as for finding people your own age, that is the beuaty of friends - they come in all ages and life stages. more important is shared values and shared sense of humor.
certainly, as one progresses thru life and issues and pursue help for any mental illness or emotional pain, who we are and who we want to be friends with changes.
Generally, making one or two friends will lead to more because you will meet their friends, get out more.
I don't know where you live but in the Chicago and the Denver areas, there are some meet ups that are pure social events - say hiking or getting together for picnics, there is one in Chicago called Free and Cheap.
If your area doesn't have one, see if you can get one started - tho I know there is some fee involved for that. or see if you can assist an organizer of a group to get a discount on activities. Or try to use the library to set up a book club or some other club based on a language or cause. or get a Saturday morning walkers club together that stops for coffee afterwards.
set up a doggie play group. dog people love groups.
What activities do you do? attend lectures or free concerts, walk slow thru the farmer's markets, ride a bike instead of driving, walk instead of biking, get out and chat with people in line with you at the grocery store, or at a coffee shop. become a regular somewhere like a coffee shop, a church, a group even.
and yes, volunteer - but not because you want to meet people but because you care about the cause and can. engaged people who care attract other people to them. as for finding people your own age, that is the beuaty of friends - they come in all ages and life stages. more important is shared values and shared sense of humor.