DWM seeking new normal
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judasiscariotjr
- Posts: 28
- Joined: May 29th, 2014, 8:44 am
- Gender: male
- Issues: Depression, Anxiety
- preferred pronoun: he
DWM seeking new normal
I'm sure someone has mentioned this somewhere on here, but this thought keeps bugging me today: Why is it any little bit of happiness or progress seems like an aberration and depression seems like the norm? Lately, I am finding this to be true even as I sometimes go from 70% depressed/30% happy to 50/50 or even on rare occasions, 60/40. I have seen some things start to shift as I have continued on this journey over the years, but that seems like an obstacle that isn't getting any smaller. On my bad days I feel like I can see the progress I've made just being wiped away in an instant and everything inevitably going to hell.
"I still do, and I useta too-"
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manuel_moe_g
- Posts: 3398
- Joined: October 3rd, 2011, 9:04 am
- Gender: Male
- Issues: Depression, Anxiety
- preferred pronoun: he
- Location: Orange County, CA
- Contact:
Re: DWM seeking new normal
So true, the negative instance is so much more vivid than the positive instance. Keep on fighting, judasiscariotjr, you deserve that brighter day.
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http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
Re: DWM seeking new normal
I've been thinking the same thing recently... I've even asked myself, "Do you LIKE to be depressed and anxious?" I feel like if I try to think positively, I get anxiety and unstable. When I go to sleep, I think about my absolute worst fears and psych myself out. And as demoralizing it is, I think I do go to depression and anxiety for comfort because I don't know what it feels like to truly be happy and positive.
Today, these memories of people being rude and disrespectful kept coming up and when I asked myself why I am doing this, I realized I'm doing this so that I can be "prepared" for the world where there's cold and mean people out there. It's so I won't be disappointed and feel betrayed when people do treat me bad in the future. How sad is that? I can't accept that there's people out there struggling with their own issues and give them slack. Instead, I take it to heart and am deeply offended. Then it leads to me feeling so invaluable that I think, "They are treating me this way because I'm not hard and tough enough." So therefore, I remember all of these incidences to "toughen myself up." But it doesn't...it only depresses me further...
I know I'm not making sense at all, but this is how I think...
Today, these memories of people being rude and disrespectful kept coming up and when I asked myself why I am doing this, I realized I'm doing this so that I can be "prepared" for the world where there's cold and mean people out there. It's so I won't be disappointed and feel betrayed when people do treat me bad in the future. How sad is that? I can't accept that there's people out there struggling with their own issues and give them slack. Instead, I take it to heart and am deeply offended. Then it leads to me feeling so invaluable that I think, "They are treating me this way because I'm not hard and tough enough." So therefore, I remember all of these incidences to "toughen myself up." But it doesn't...it only depresses me further...
I know I'm not making sense at all, but this is how I think...