Trying to force myself to have fun...

[Jitterz]

I'm really struggling today. I have plans to go out tonight for a friend's birthday and I'm so tired even though I slept all day. I want to have fun but I just don't have the energy. Everything that is supposed to be fun is just a damn chore to me. I hate feeling like this. I am forcing myself to go but I'm dreading it at the same time. I just want to enjoy life. I can't deal with this shit anymore.

[oak]

How did it go?

[bigeekgirl]

It's depression's catch-22: In order to get better you have to do stuff but doing stuff that used to be fun is painfully difficult.

I hope you went and found some measure of enjoyment.

[Jitterz]

Thank you both for responding. I did end up having a good time but now I feel guilty like I feel like I had too much fun? And worried I was just annoying everyone else for having a good time. I don't know..my boyfriend seemed a bit annoyed with me but maybe it's just me overthinking things as usual...I'm glad it's over and Monday is tomorrow so I can just go back to my normal mind-numbing weekly routine.

[oak]

Good for you for getting out.

Of course, you would be of equal worth and dignity had you decided to stay in.

Sometimes it is good to take action, and sometimes it is good to sit tight.

[bigeekgirl]

Jitterz, you are not alone in overthinking. It is my instinct to try to talk you out of it, but all you can do is keep doing social things and find people want to be around you based on them continuing to invite you. For me, the only reason I'm not a pile of social anxiety is in light of the small but proud band of folks I know really like me. My best friend, my husband, my little brother (now 32, but he's always liked me). I respect them too much to think I'm shitty and annoying.

[judasiscariotjr]

Fake it 'til you make it. I know it sounds like a lame strategy, but it really does work sometimes.