I dont want to live but I can't die
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Vanessabyss
- Posts: 1
- Joined: December 27th, 2014, 7:51 pm
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Depression Anxiety Insomnia
- preferred pronoun: She
I dont want to live but I can't die
I wont ever commit suicide because I believe in hell. Like a good little catholic I was raised to fear an eternity with the damned and taking your life gets you a one way ticket. That doesn't stop me from hoping I will be terminal cancer and be taken out by life. I know that horrible but its true. I want some fatal disease to take me out so that I dont have to suffer anymore. Does anyone feel this way?
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manuel_moe_g
- Posts: 3274
- Joined: October 3rd, 2011, 9:04 am
- Gender: Male
- Issues: Depression, Anxiety
- preferred pronoun: he
- Location: Orange County, CA
- Contact:
Re: I dont want to live but I can't die
Hello Vanessabyss, welcome to our little forum. Make yourself at home by posting and replying in the threads and topics here.
Forum tips: You can keep up with all activity on the forum by clicking “View active topics” under the main Board index. And when you post, you can subscribe to the replies by clicking on “Subscribe topic” at the bottom of the page – this also allows you to subscribe to new replies of any topic that interests you.
Yeah, I have depression and anxiety, and days are not easy sometimes, and it feels like any way out of living would be a rest from suffering.
Forum tips: You can keep up with all activity on the forum by clicking “View active topics” under the main Board index. And when you post, you can subscribe to the replies by clicking on “Subscribe topic” at the bottom of the page – this also allows you to subscribe to new replies of any topic that interests you.
Yeah, I have depression and anxiety, and days are not easy sometimes, and it feels like any way out of living would be a rest from suffering.
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Joekababazae
- Posts: 16
- Joined: September 25th, 2014, 10:47 am
- Gender: Male
- Issues: Depression, Anxiety, ADHD.
- Location: New England
Re: I dont want to live but I can't die
Hi Vanessabyss,
I know exactly how you feel. When I was going through an extremely rough time, all I could think about was killing myself but not wanting to, not because of hell (I don't believe in it), but because of not being completely sure it would work. I would go from wanting to kill myself to simply wanting to vanish on a daily basis; I just wanted out. I don't know what made the thoughts go away but they did; I want to live now, not completely for myself, but more for others. I'm at my absolute worst when I'm alone and have no one to talk to or be around; my thoughts get bottled up and there is no one to challenge them. Think about what you can do for other people, shift your focus away from yourself and maybe you'll feel better. But hey, that's just my two cents, take it as you will.
I know exactly how you feel. When I was going through an extremely rough time, all I could think about was killing myself but not wanting to, not because of hell (I don't believe in it), but because of not being completely sure it would work. I would go from wanting to kill myself to simply wanting to vanish on a daily basis; I just wanted out. I don't know what made the thoughts go away but they did; I want to live now, not completely for myself, but more for others. I'm at my absolute worst when I'm alone and have no one to talk to or be around; my thoughts get bottled up and there is no one to challenge them. Think about what you can do for other people, shift your focus away from yourself and maybe you'll feel better. But hey, that's just my two cents, take it as you will.