Perfectionism

[dave]

hi - is perfectionism a defence mechanism or perhaps a substitute/surrogate for normal life satisfaction? I am a perfectionist in many ways, and a workaholic, as were my dad and other important mentor-type men in my life. I'm a musician, and my perfectionism makes it nearly impossible to enjoy my musical activities unless we're performing at a really high level, which is extremely rare.

I wonder if I'm perfectionist because I struggle to enjoy relationships with others in an easy, relaxed way. Given that, maybe being a perfectionist is a way to give myself meaning and identity. I identify with top-flight musicians even though I don't have that level of talent myself. This started when I was around 18 and I think was a way to fill a void inside myself.

I like the adage that "the perfect is the enemy of the good". I try to remember that.