Too much for too long

[Corey M]

Ever since my teens (about 18 years ago) I've suffered with depression. I've spent many of those years trying to fix myself, experimented with lots of different medications, changed my diet, became a Personal Trainer, ran a successful business, saw a therapist yet this cloud has never disappeared. I'm at the point now where I wonder if this is just my life and I have to except it? If depression is a disease maybe not everyone can be cured. There can be progress with some better days but I can't see myself ever returning to the happy person I was earlier in my life .., feel like it's too exhausting trying to get better anyway

[Cami]

I know your post is "old", but I just wanted to chime in anyway.

I was first diagnosed with depression about six years ago. I was on sickleave for almost two years and worked through the whole thing over that period. Bam. Cured. Life goes on.

Except it doesn't really, does it? I'm a completely different person now. I work out, I eat better, weight and blood pressure is OK, healthy relationsship, steady job - but I'm depressed AGAIN!?!

What I'm coming to realise is that my depression isn't like a broken leg that heals and then I'm back on the running track. Depression is more like one of these illnesses that flare up.

You can have a good month, a good year, a good decade, and then it flares up again. I'm getting used to the thought, and hope I can over time get better at managing it, even if I sometimes just wants to call it quits.

Hope this helps in some way. Hang in there. <3