Afraid

[Namu]

rg,

I'm glad you posted about skipping the meeting and then thinking maybe that wasn't the best thing. I expect that, if I do get a group started, carrying on with showing up will be really hard. Everything feels hard, and finding clothes that aren't stained, torn, too small, missing buttons, etc., is just one early challenge in a long list of difficult things involved in getting out of the house. It's easy to lose sight of the likely benefits sometimes.

I think I've felt unmoored for so long that I forgot it's a thing. I do feel connected to one friend and, in a limited sense, to my therapist, and without those connections I'd be in the horror of really-no-decent-connection, where I spent my first few decades.

I hope you'll manage to get to the next meeting. It sounds like, in time, it could grow into a solid source of support. Even if it turns out the group you've found isn't quite enough, or quite right for the long term, it might be the thing that leads you to something even better. In the meantime, like you said, a bit of routine (and a good-enough reason to leave the house) can be a good thing.

I look forward to hearing how it goes. I've made no real progress on starting a group, but only because there are other irons in the fire at the moment. Hearing about your experience has already helped me clarify a bit better how I'd like the group to be structured. For instance, I forgot that there are options besides a strict "no cross-talk" rule, like the "with permission" responses that you mentioned.

Take care. Good luck.

Namu

[rivergirl]

Hi Namu,
I'm sorry that I missed your reply a few weeks ago. I just saw it today, and am grateful for your feedback.

I relate to your feeling of everything being too hard. I have days where I can accomplish whatever I need to do, but then other days when it seems overwhelming to do something as simple as making a grocery list.

I'm glad you have one friend that you can connect to, and your therapist, even though I imagine that doesn't feel like nearly enough at times.

I'm still going to the group, and it generally feels like a positive step to continue.

Good luck to you too, Namu.

rivergirl