Self sabatoge

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common-bluebell
Posts: 9
Joined: May 11th, 2018, 12:51 pm
Gender: female
Issues: depression
anxiety
self hatred
preferred pronoun: she

Self sabatoge

Post by common-bluebell »

I have felt extremely depressed the last few days. I had a boyfriend who is extremely good to me, but when I feel like this, all I can think about are ways to sabotage the relationship. My therapist thinks it is because I don't feel I deserve to be happy. I WANT to be happy. But whenever I am, I am not satisfied. I don't know.. Just wanted to get this off my chest. :cry:
-common-bluebell

p.s. I am always here for anyone who needs to talk
..no judgments
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bigeekgirl
Posts: 402
Joined: December 9th, 2012, 9:17 pm
Gender: female
Issues: depression/anxiety. co-dependence, disordered eating/using food to cope
preferred pronoun: she
Location: South Carolina

Re: Self sabatoge

Post by bigeekgirl »

It makes perfect sense with what you wrote about your childhood. You are not comfortable being happy because you aren't accustomed to a peaceful life. For me, too, peace often means time for my past to start bubbling up and I have to deal with that pain. Keep at therapy and you'll get more practice at living without chaos.
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