Mourning over an avoidant life

[flyinginside]

Thank you so much for sharing. This was great to read (the title alone even) as I have realized the same about my life. I am 32 and have been avoiding or intellectualizing life since childhood. I too have been able to speak with folks about mental health but more recently, started to resent those who can feel and experience, placing the energy back on me. Have an appointment next month with a psychiatrist and hoping to find something to aid in working on experiencing life more fully.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello flyinginside, welcome to the forum!

I know what you mean about resentment. Intellectually I know resentment is not part of a capable response to my problem and will only lead to me further spinning my wheels, but it is hard to help but feel resentment sometimes. I feel most resentment over people who have enjoyed youthful romance, something that I was too avoidant to participate in.

All I can do it move forward one step at a time, and try to expand my comfort zone.

[manuel_moe_g]

Mourning over an avoidant life. But today I have more tools than ever before, and more ability to turn depression around. To pull it off, I have to be careful and serious. I wish it just came naturally.

[Sufilizard]

This really resonates with me. I just lost another job and I really struggle to do anything at all. This problem has plagued me my entire life. I've rarely held a job for more than a year or two and I almost always get fired (or 'asked to resign' if I'm lucky). Even when something is urgent, I often just can't bring myself to do it (at home or at work). I have periods of time where I can be productive, but the long stretches of avoiding everything inevitably come. Now that I'm middle aged, it seems to be getting worse. I look at my life and see so much wasted potential. It's horrific. I'm realizing how much anxiety and depression have played a role in this and though I've tried meds and therapy, I don't seem to be really improving at all - I'm just more self-aware which almost makes me more depressed. I also wonder if I might also suffer from adult Attention Deficit.

I have no advice or anything to offer that might help. But I certainly feel this way too. So at least there's that.

[7beadsinarow]

Have you ever done Yoga?