I, like most of you, are saddened by the death of Robin Williams. I love watching the tributes to his work, but the reason for this post is different. I would hope the Admin's could also post this in the Depression - Bipolar section too because I think RW was bi-polar.
One thing has occurred to me over the past few years, and the RW incident underlines it: We depressed (or mentally ill) folks are often NOT the best judge of our current state, nor are the ones around us. This is why I think we need to be on a program of seeing a counselor on a regular basis, and especially if we are taking medication (and there is no shame in permanently taking a medication if that is what is best).
I heard that RW's publicist and the people around him said he had checked back into that Minnesota rehab clinic for a tune-up. Now, either they are completely full of shit, or, he had them fooled, or, they had fooled themselves because they wanted to keep the gravy-train going. Later, I heard that the workers at the clinic had said he had checked-in too late/left too early, or something to that manner. We must have someone or someones helping us to make important decisions. RW had the resources to see the best counselors every day if he so choose. But, he didn't have the correct judgement to know he needed to see one every day, at least temporarily until he could get his imbalance under control. Nor did his business caretakers. Or perhaps he himself overruled the others and wanted to be living at home?
I think we need a law that is fair, but would let outsiders have an avenue to intervene in someones life if they are ill (I know there are constitutional concerns of freedom here, and I deeply respect the constitution), BUT (yes the big BUT), we have to do something to not just eliminate the stigma of depression, but to make the stigma such a non-issue that the people who themselves suffer from it, are not afraid to intern themselves for whatever it takes to have relief from it.
I remember when I gave in to letting myself go back on medication. The first feeling I got was a sense of relief. Relief, that some relief may be coming. Relief that I forgave myself for having to try medication. Relief, that I knew I tried every fucking thing I knew to try to get over it (diet, exercise, counseling, writing, and so on). Fuck those people who say that medication is a cop out. My own wife use to bitch about me going back on the medications. She said it was because she was afraid of the side effects and long-term affects. OK, yea, but my Psychiatrist and my counselor were recommending it after all the other methods didn't work, and the last thing I want to be hearing from my wife is "I don't like to see you taking the medications." Oh yea, will fuck her I would think. It's not like I'm down at the corner seeing what the local weed dealer has to help me. I'm going through the right steps. Maybe, what I need is to get people like her out of my life? People who are thinking from their own fear, and not what might be in my best interest.
Paul Gilmartin is doing what he knows is right by doing his podcast, and maintaining this forum. I know it takes incredible energy for him to do that, and it is probably a huge struggle. I applaud him for actually taking action, and I know he will some day be rewarded for his work. What will I do? I don't know. Posting here is all I am doing for now. Counseling those around me, if/when they are open to it, it the form they will best receive it is another thing I do. Trying to do the best for me, along with learning to trust my own decisions through validation with my counselors. Calling other peoples bullshit, when I see bullshit.
We must encourage others to call "bullshit" too. Look at Michael Jackson's case. Now there was a case for intervention if there ever was one. But, he had encircled himself with "yes" people who were more interested in getting paid, than MJ's mental health. Perhaps, some cases are too out of reach, and unfortunately, they end up playing out the way they do? Sadly, there may be no law or destigmatizing that could constitutionally help people like that. It is like trying to balance our freedom with our security. The more of one, the less of the other. Society has to decide where to adjust the line, and there is no point where everyone will be happy. But, I do think the line is still too far to one side as far as mental health is concerned.
We are all at fault for that. We still stigmatize it. Even us who suffer from it, which all the more echo's why we must have a life-long coach that we see from time to time to evaluate and suggest to us a course of what we should do for good health. The best thing you can do is to realize, even though you think you may know what is best, that we are often not the best judge of what we need. We need to find our own voice, our own self. Sometimes, I wonder if RW was so good at "playing" other people, he didn't give enough time to find himself. He, perhaps, thought he needed to make others laugh, because he saw how much we enjoyed "him" when he was doing that. Of course, it fed a part of him, and it WAS a part of who he was, but I wonder. Was he the best judge of who he really needed to be, or what or who he was?
RIP RW. You are surely one for the ages. Thank you for making me laugh so many times. I know your soul is at rest now, and I hope you are looking down on all of us, now with all the wisdom of God.
InMyMind
Robin Williams, an example of why were are not the best judg
Re: Robin Williams, an example of why were are not the best
I'm sorry my post follows so late---I just read yours today and I agree---we do need an outside person to help us gauge how we're doing. I tend to minimize my symptoms a lot and I will ask the few other people who know I have chronic depression what they think at times. When my mother was very sick and dying, I made extra appointments with my psychiatrist---he would ask me "how are you doing" and my honest answer was "I don't know". So we would piece out my daily life and see how well I was functioning as a team, and this worked really well during that time. I haven't needed extra appointments or any adjustments in a long time, but I still check with others because I don't trust myself 100% on how I'm doing.