I don't know if this is the right place to put this, but I am a heavy sufferer of anxiety disorder and chatter-brain, and this week I have experienced for the first time a few brief moments here and there of absolute bliss, completely through my own influence.
On one occasion, I was playing video games with the sound off and a candle lit after exercising really hard, and I began to feel I was floating around the room.
On another occasion I was meditating and suddenly felt everything was going to be okay, and started laughing out loud from relief.
I have tears in my eyes as I type this as at the excitement of the prospect that my mind might finally slow down, that I can grab the reigns from the demon emotions even just a little, that all the work I've done to break my self-destructive patterns isn't just bullshit. The tension that has ruled me for so long like a tyrannical giant has shown signs of weakness at last, I am finally winning!
I love you all!
Moments of perfect peace
Moments of perfect peace
I am somewhat worried I come across as a know-it-all in a lot of my posts, so please allow me to use this space to make it clear that I actually don't know shit and am just trying to be helpful.
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Re: Moments of perfect peace
I love those moments of clarity and balance! I am so glad you had some! Hang on to them and remember that they exist, keep working and they will come back
Re: Moments of perfect peace
Thanks Bravegirl, you're cool.
I am somewhat worried I come across as a know-it-all in a lot of my posts, so please allow me to use this space to make it clear that I actually don't know shit and am just trying to be helpful.
Re: Moments of perfect peace
I experienced one of my most recent moments of complete peace right after a brief moment of extreme depression. It was very awkward, I was laying in bed in extreme mental pain then i got up and took a shower and when i got out and sat down i felt amazing and couldn't stop smiling.
Re: Moments of perfect peace
Cool Vorbis. I wonder if that block of lying in bed feeling horrible was something you "had to do" if you know what I mean? And once you were past it you were able to feel better?
I am somewhat worried I come across as a know-it-all in a lot of my posts, so please allow me to use this space to make it clear that I actually don't know shit and am just trying to be helpful.
Re: Moments of perfect peace
I'm so glad you had a breakthrough! I hope this keeps up for you. For me, I have months of doing great (usually from spring to summer), but once I get used to it and get a little complacent and cocky about how great I've been doing, it just all crashes down on me...and I am there right now... But it is so good to cherish the times we are doing well and pat ourselves on our back for all of the work we're putting into ourselves. You totally deserve all of the positive feelings you are feeling. I've noticed that our perception of 'reality' is not really reality at all. We all have whatever colored lenses that we look at the world through. When we're down, we think this is going to last forever. But that's not true. It's so hard to get out of the rut we get ourselves into, but posts like yours reminds us that there's a side of us that is also positive. It made me question why I'm stuck in this rut right now...I'll keep thinking about it. Thanks for an upbeat post!