My inlaws are visiting over the holidays. It makes my husband extremely anxious, and he takes out of me. He doesn't recognize his anxiety. And today I"m feeling his, plus one of my alters/my own. So I just want to crawl out of my fucking skin. It's like little needles from the inside. And it's manifesting like rage.
I need some time and space, but there's a high needs five year old in the house and I need to go shopping for groceries. Which is another layer of social anxiety plus sensory overwhelm.
Typing this out ... so many levels of fucked up. I can't believe people believe I'm a functioning adult.
Christmas anxiety in my husband
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mellybelly
- Posts: 7
- Joined: November 20th, 2015, 1:53 pm
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Dissociation, Dissociative identity disorder, depression, anxiety,
- preferred pronoun: they
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wd82
- Posts: 22
- Joined: August 9th, 2015, 1:29 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: Anxiety, alcohol abuse
- preferred pronoun: he
Re: Christmas anxiety in my husband
You are not alone, I assure you of that.
Even though I don't have children, I do understand the family pressures around this time of year, and how despite all the lovely sentiment about how we are 'supposed' to feel, most people are just on edge because of the expectations of perfection (the Norman Rockwell sp? Christmas). Honestly, as I get older and do more work on myself, I realize how much I dread this holiday for what it brings out in myself and others. I wish I could alleviate your stress, but all I can say is do your best to try to dedicate some time, even if only 15-30 minutes to yourself to do something enjoyable/to help yourself. Meditation/mindfulness can be so helpful during times like these. I hope you may have a therapist to talk during these difficult times.
Please continue sounding off.
Even though I don't have children, I do understand the family pressures around this time of year, and how despite all the lovely sentiment about how we are 'supposed' to feel, most people are just on edge because of the expectations of perfection (the Norman Rockwell sp? Christmas). Honestly, as I get older and do more work on myself, I realize how much I dread this holiday for what it brings out in myself and others. I wish I could alleviate your stress, but all I can say is do your best to try to dedicate some time, even if only 15-30 minutes to yourself to do something enjoyable/to help yourself. Meditation/mindfulness can be so helpful during times like these. I hope you may have a therapist to talk during these difficult times.
Please continue sounding off.
Re: Christmas anxiety in my husband
Holiday anxieties are the worst... I have such bad anxieties that I just don't go to them. It's not worth fighting with my husband and being depleted from stress. But it took me years to finally have peace with the fact that I won't be making a lot of connections with my in-laws. There's so much guilt and suffering on your part even if you don't participate.
So these are your husband's parents/family, right? It's a tricky situation for you because you are not their immediate family so you can't really stand up to them and say no. It's kind of your husband's position to be setting boundaries with his own family... I'm sorry he doesn't recognize his own anxieties and takes it out on you... Family situations are so messy because you can't just drop them... I hope you can get away in subtle ways when they are staying at your place...you can always say 'I'm not feeling well' and slip off into your bedroom and let them entertain themselves...
I hope you can find small ways to make it easier on yourself.
So these are your husband's parents/family, right? It's a tricky situation for you because you are not their immediate family so you can't really stand up to them and say no. It's kind of your husband's position to be setting boundaries with his own family... I'm sorry he doesn't recognize his own anxieties and takes it out on you... Family situations are so messy because you can't just drop them... I hope you can get away in subtle ways when they are staying at your place...you can always say 'I'm not feeling well' and slip off into your bedroom and let them entertain themselves...
I hope you can find small ways to make it easier on yourself.