Corona Virus Anxiety

[snoringdog]

Hello Manny,

do you mean that you find yourself wasting time doing stuff that is just to manage your mood?

The "Really Should Be..." It feels like a mix of guilt, uncertainty, mild ADD and anxiety all rolled up.

It appears first thing in the morning and has been nagging me most of my life...

Sometimes I *do* zone out when it gets too mentally tiring.

(But I've also been recognizing it and talking myself thru it lately. "You're OK!", "It's not all on you", "One thing at a time", "If they're not getting twisted, why should you" etc etc.)

So, just had a stressful day of face-to-face con calls, and a to-do list for tomorrow and next week.

Got thru a lot of it, and now I've taken a detour, listening to a few old songs on YouTube, in the "First time hearing", or "Reacting to" genre -

Not really a time waster since I find it cathartic and invigorating...
(it's different than mindlessly scrolling)

Here's two from just now -

Sounds of silence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjl-64z3ktA

Comfortably Numb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1uGBgLyb0Y

[snoringdog]

Woke up today with feelings of anxiety and doom.

I think partly due to yesterday's zoom calls. Face-to-face in person isn't so bad, but seeing myself on screen is unnerving. I feel like an idiot sometimes, droning on...

I'm going out for a walk this morning.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi SD

Did the walk help? You feeling any better?

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

Yes, better now, but before I could get out, two work colleagues called in the morning and I ended up speaking with them for a while which pulled me out of my funk.

Then I hopped on a bus into NYC and met with a few of the fellows who were on the call yesterday.

Face-to-face is so much easier and better than the online-camera-meeting stuff. It gets exhausting. I've read commentaries on it too, so it's not just me....
And I know I'll never be a movie actor - too self-conscious.

In the city, seeing so many anonymous people going about their days sometimes has a soothing effect. (But sometimes not.... Funny how that works...).

I wore a mask on the bus and subway, and I was pretty much the only one. But if it saves me from a cold or the flu, that's good. Winter here, and there are a few things going around...

[Mental Fairy]

Glad you’re feeling better.

The thought of popping into New York sounds so incredibly cool. However, all those people…..makes me nervous thinking about it.

We are having hot and cold days here. Loads of people with Covid. Apparently we are on the fifth wave?

I agree with you on the screen video things, not my idea of fun. Was bad enough doing the interview with Paul. Never again!

[snoringdog]

Hello!

It's funny, I spoke with a colleague today about the different platforms (Zoom, Teams, Google, etc) and that the Google one we were on doesn't let you choose a fake background.

So I had to find a good spot in the house with decent lighting, instead of the basement. And was a little worried about "What do they think of the pictures on the walls behind me", etc. An unneeded distraction.

Anyway, he told me about an online session *he* gave to some group (he's in Sales) where he was rushed making the connection and signing in.

He'd just moved into a new place, and the apartment was a mess with empty boxes and detritus all around. This was his background during his presentation, and he didn't know it.

His boss sent him a screen shot afterwards, much to his embarrassment. But he's a likable guy, so no one held it against him...

[snoringdog]

The thought of popping into New York sounds so incredibly cool. However, all those people…..makes me nervous thinking about it.

Yes, I had to get into the right frame of mind for it a little, but it is pretty easy from where I am.

And once you're in, it can be as anonymous as you'd like. But people are also friendly too if you want to interact. And lots of tourists... you hear the accents.

(I recently heard the old joke about a tourist asking a native New Yorker - "Can you tell me how to get to Times Square, or should I just go f*ck myself?" ) It's not that way though...

One thing I can't escape while there, is memories about living there all those years ago in the "cult". Spent so much time walking the city and riding the subways.... Still a little embarrassing. It has really changed though. That was a whole nother age.

[troebia]

His boss sent him a screen shot afterwards, much to his embarrassment.

Heaven forbid that somebody ever lets the mask slip to let reality through...especially in the US.

It reminds me of when I worked as a sys admin for a multinational company and there was to be an important meeting with the biggest client, in Texas. Instead of sending me to represent the IT department they preferred a South American guy with less than rudimentary English that just had been hired. Granted, he had a full set of teeth and straighter bones...