Sometimes I find I get too excited or too passionate or too raunchy or joking in my banter and freak others out.
I feel things so deeply all the time that it's incredibly powerful. It's part of what makes me a good therapist, empath, or friend. But it can also get me hurt when I invest so deeply in other people or moments.
When others show me they are put off by my actions or feelings, I then feel this devastating low like I am the worst person in the universe and loath myself for ever daring to feel safe enough to get to that point. It is then so very difficult to get myself feeding okay again.
I know my actions and thoughts do not define who I am, but rejection from others causes me such sever self loathing sometimes it's debilitating.
anyone else feel like this from time to time?
rejection/anxiety mood swings
rejection/anxiety mood swings
A man should not strive to eliminate his complexes but to get into accord with them: they are legitimately what directs his conduct in the world. -S. Freud
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. -B. Disraeli
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. -B. Disraeli
Re: rejection/anxiety mood swings
Thank you for writing what I think...
I find myself crossing the line so often it's a big reason I am home alone most of the time. Rarely is it in an offensive way, but my attempt at steering the conversation down a deeper path. It's how I think, it's how I relate. For a long time I believed I was cold (was told so by mom at 13), not very emotional. In the last couple years I've realized the opposite is true. I feel things VERY deeply, like you said. I am a source of support for people often.
When I feel rejected it's really bad. Most of the time, it passes on, but sometimes it causes drama that others can't deal with. I yearn for support, yet receive anger at my actions, which fuels the rejection. I have a hard time discerning where the toxicity in past relationships comes from. My feelings of rejecting or their anger towards me...
I find myself crossing the line so often it's a big reason I am home alone most of the time. Rarely is it in an offensive way, but my attempt at steering the conversation down a deeper path. It's how I think, it's how I relate. For a long time I believed I was cold (was told so by mom at 13), not very emotional. In the last couple years I've realized the opposite is true. I feel things VERY deeply, like you said. I am a source of support for people often.
When I feel rejected it's really bad. Most of the time, it passes on, but sometimes it causes drama that others can't deal with. I yearn for support, yet receive anger at my actions, which fuels the rejection. I have a hard time discerning where the toxicity in past relationships comes from. My feelings of rejecting or their anger towards me...