Teaching emotionally disturbed children

[Yanon Amos]

I'm a teacher, and I recently just got a long-term sub job in an urban middle school. The poverty rate is significant and it has it's fair share of behavioral problems.

During one of my prep periods, it's my job to cover the In School Suspension room teacher on her break. It varies day to day, sometimes the kids aren't too bad. Sometimes it really takes a lot to get them under control.

This story involves 3 students. Student A who is male, Student B who is male and Student C who is female. The ISS room is an extension of the emotional support program, and their regular teacher specializes in special ed and emotional support. She does a great job with them, gets them to open up about their problems and does what she can. On one wall, there's a list of struggles. Students anonymously wrote down the things they struggle with and how to overcome them. Some of them are very personal.

Once their regular teacher left, Student A wanted to make fun of Student B. B is a tough kid... he's really insecure and gets picked on a lot. At first he'll be able to take it as a joke, but you can tell it bothers him. The other students can tell it bothers him so they just keep digging in. Eventually it usually turns into Student B saying something horribly inappropriate, one of the kids tries to beat him up, he fights back. This lands him in ISS frequently.

So, Student A goes over to the struggle board, looks around and says, "Hey B, isn't your struggle up here? The one about getting raped?" Obviously, I go over to student A and try to get him to sit down. I ask nicely, I yell, these kids love ignoring you until you actually get in their faces. Student A pulls the struggle card off the board and tries to hand it to his friends. They all start calling student B a faggot, I yell at them and get them to give me the struggle card back. On the card it says, "My struggle is that I was raped and I have bi-polar disorder". During this interaction, quietly, Student C says, "that's actually mine..."

I feel like I dropped the ball. I don't know if there's a way I could've shown student A that what he did was really fucked up, that he should not be making fun of things like that, etc. They are middle schoolers... so part of the issue is they take nothing seriously. Everything is a joke, and they want to say fucked up things to get a rise out of you.

Since I'm a specials teacher, recently the quarter switched over and I got a new set of students. Among them are Student B and Student C. I usually have to intervene when student B gets made fun of, but it happens so frequently I can't catch it every time. The administration is aware of this, they have way too much on their plates.

Student C is a completely different problem. When she was in ISS she was very nice, well-behaved, no problems. In regular class she's a terror. She missed the first day, I'm assuming she just cut class. She told her friends she really didn't want to come to my class. When she finally did, she looked totally disheveled, and eventually asked if she could go to the bathroom. When she came back, it really seemed that drugs were involved. She's a 7th grader, btw. She kept getting up out of her seat, walking around and being generally defiant. She likes to push boundaries, like staring at you and smiling when you ask her to do something she doesn't want to do. Also on occasion getting too close to me. Not anything inappropriate, but due to my OWN issues I'm pretty uncomfortable with people violating my personal space. When I get serious, she just smirks. With enough persistence she does eventually do what I ask her to do, but it really takes a lot.

It's tough, because obviously this girl is hurting. She wants to be in control (especially over men) because she's had control taken from her. There's not really anything appropriate I can say to let her understand that I get it. I really get it. I see this wall she has up and how she's pretending to be tough but she's not. Right now I just have to play the role of another authority figure who is telling her what to do and getting her in trouble.

Really, she's not the only one. There are so many kids I have to teach here who are going through the toughest shit. Right now they don't have the tools to process, and they're acting out. I've heard a number of mental illness happy hour episodes where people who were sexually abused at a very young age act out in school, get in trouble, drugs, etc. I get it, but I have to set order in the classroom and uphold the rules of the school.

Not really sure if there's any advice I'm looking for, just venting. Also, if you were like this in middle school (I was more like student B, but a lot quieter), do you have any insight?

[nattyjeanne]

I know you said you weren't looking for advice, but I also teach, I've encountered my fair share of Student A's, and have an idea that might be helpful. Find teachers in nearby classrooms who are okay having students sent over for short periods of time. The next time you see a situation where somebody needs to be removed, you can go up to them and say in a neutral voice that you need them to deliver school supplies (tissues, dictionaries, whatever...) to a teacher in another classroom. You can use this to remove a bully if you notice that direct attention to the problem behavior increases the behavior, but you also can use it to allow a target some time to take a breather. If it were me, I'd try to talk to the target first before implementing it, and ask them if it's something that would be helpful. It might be nice to have some 1:1 time with the targets anyway, show them you're on their side and doing all you can to support them.

I know Student A badly needs a talking-to, but as you said, middle school students have a hard time taking things seriously and making a scene during your instructional time 1) cuts into everybody else's learning and 2) reinforces Student A's behavior with all eyes on him and some of his peers laughing their asses off. Any talk he needs, I would save for recess, lunch, after school, etc. If possible, get his parents or legal guardians involved too.

[Cheesehead]

Being a special education teacher myself, it's unbelievable how many of our youth are living in chaos, poverty, or having to deal with very adult issues every day!! The future isn't bright for a lot of our youth and yet we all expect them to grow up into responsible individuals. Our public schools are all messed up teaching for the state tests and not for knowledge and education. I believe as a country we need to start investing in ourselves more and stop trying to save the rest of the world.

Good luck with your class and thanks for all you do cause we all know how subs are often treated and certainly don't get paid enough for it!