Parents forcing me into graduation ceremony

[Anthony]

I have no way to describe how angry this makes me. I wish I didn't need anything from them.
This morning when I wouldn't go to graduation practice:
my dad physically handles me and my mom cries and screams about how I am ruining our reputation (it boils down to that). I tell my mom she is manipulating me while she was screaming/crying and she won't back down. I eventually cave.

When I try to talk to my mom she always has an answer even if it doesn't make sense.

They both have told me how my sister took off work and my grandparents are going to be there, so I am letting them down if I don't go (that part wasn't explicitly stated).
Before this my mom even went so far as to call MY therapist. She didn't tell me and fortunately he was required to inform me. That just seems like she was trying to make it so my therapist would be on her side and it seemed to work.

I don't understand how this isn't just them asking me to go and me saying I don't want to. The end. This is a high school I transferred to anyway so they only "know" like one person, so who is my mom scared of judging us? Why are they doing this to me? I just don't expect an apology from either of them (unless "sorry you had to do that" counts). It may seem unrelated, but a similar thing happened on a past birthday, when they came to sing to me I said I didn't want them to. They ignored me and I said something like "So, you're just doing this for yourselves?" and my dad replied "yes." I don't know how to deal with them. Calm and reasoned explanations don't seem to work, so should I just play along until I can burn these bridges?

[letteggs]

My mother has always said that you walk at your graduation ceremony, not for yourself, but for your parents. I just graduated with my Associate's Degree, and earlier this spring, I mentioned that I was tempted to hold a graduation party. My mother replied saying "An associate's degree is not a real degree. You don't deserve a graduation party." I had previously decided against walking at the ceremony. Well, I ended up decided to walk, and did not tell my family about it. My mother was upset the next day when she came home from the family lake house. She had seen 2 pictures on FaceBook of me in my cap & gown with my friends. I did not walk for her, I walked for myself. Because it is high school, I can really see the importance of walking, because you have finally finished 12 years of schooling, and there are a lot of students who do not go on to college, so high school may be the only time they get the opportunity to walk.

Talk to your therapist about this. Your parents sound a lot like my mother, who is incredibly narcissistic. My mother never got a lot of recognition as a child (she was the youngest of 8), so to her, it is all about the status of having a child graduate, or get that dream job, or she buys the dream vacation home. Your therapist should be able to help you sort out your feelings, and even help you come up with some coping mechanisms for when your parents do act out.

Best of luck, and congratulations!