Bookending: thanksgiving dinner.

[oak]

Hi friends.

This week I found out I have migraines and arthritis, and my job is abusive to the point I may quit next week (after five years I know when is too much, and this is it).

My goal is twofold;

1. Go to thanksgiving dinner and be (sincerely) perfectly pleasant and kind. I will explain to my sister (who is hosting) that
I am devastated by my diagnosis, and that I feel extremely lonely. If everyone plays nice I stay an hour before politely and quickly excusing myself.

2. My mother, for her many good qualities, is the most broken and hurt person I know.

She does this thing where she verbally abuses me if I am suffering. She is deeply damaged.

Here is my promise: if anyone abuses me AS DECIED BY ME I will gather my things and leave without a word.

Wish me well. I’m going to need it.

[rockfisher]

Best of luck to you.

[oak]

Thanks Rockfisher!

It was survived. We are all still on speaking terms.

They were vauguely annoyed/angry that I’ve been diagnosed with migraines, and they brought up religion twice, but otherwise it was a thoroughly tolerable time.

(My family is mad at me since 1999, putting me into a defined role of unemployable alcoholic, even though I’ve been working and sober for ten plus years. SMH. They are deeply invested in everyone staying in their assigned 2005 role. )

[rockfisher]

Glad you made it through the evening unscathed. I've found that I can't control the opinions my family has of me either, so I have learned to put those aside and just work on myself. I still have this need of approval from family, but it's not as strong as it once was, and it is getting weaker. I'm happy you had an enjoyable Thanksgiving.