Am I normal? Will I be okay?

[oak]

Hi friends. I won't even pretend to be cool: can I plainly ask for encouragement?

Wrapping up three full weeks of staying in, I ask:

I am getting a bit antsy. Am I normal?

Will all this coronavirus mess end?

Will I be okay?

Do you think I'm a decent person?

[brownblob]

You are a decent person. From reading your posts, I would say you are a wonderful person.
You will be okay. You have been through a lot in life already and you are a survivor.
The coronavirus mess will end. The timeline is kind of iffy. A vaccine will probably not be ready for another year, so until then there will be risk. At some point places will be opening back up, but hopefully people don't get to careless. Hopefully, it can be contained enough for life to go on until the vaccine is ready.
You are as normal as anyone, but I would remind you of the last lines of the podcast. You are not alone. Then the quote "Everybody I know is bizarrely beautifully fucked up in some weird way..."
I hate that you lost your car and your job at the same time as this. That is a lot of stress to have to deal with all at once. You are resilient and I'm sure you will bounce back from this.
And I hope that at the end of it all there is a girl waiting in a coffee shop for you.

[Beany Boo]

If all you’re feeling is antsy then no, you’re not normal. You’re minimizing how you really feel, keeping a lid on it.

Will it go back to the way it was? No. There’ll be a new normal, like there was after 9/11.

Will you survive intact? No, I think this will change everyone.

Are you a decent person? No, unless that’s what you want. You can be whoever you want to be; in unpredictable conditions, over which you have little responsibility. Especially when you’re so busy taking care of yourself, and searching for new ways to get some rest amidst the stress, pain and anxiety.

[Heatherwantspeace]

A healthy man who's spent the first 3 weeks of spring inside and wants to get out? Sounds normal to me.
This will end. Most of us will be okay. You will likely be okay. The odds are in your favour.
I think you're a decent person. You seem kind, and aware, and have always come to my aid when I asked for help. You're not perfect. None of us are. Decency doesn't require perfection.

What you didn't ask: Am I worthy of love? Yes, yes you are. You're loved here and likely elsewhere.

For now, we will do our best, as our best changes day to day, and dream of coffee shops.
Warmly,
Heather

[oak]

Many thanks my dear friends. I appreciate each of your kind, thoughtful, generous responses. They've really helped me, especially since this has been the hardest few days of my quarantine.

I am touched by your kindness.