I’m in the ER.

[oak]

I feel all meta: like it is too on the nose to be a MIHH person in the ER at 2:30 am on a Friday night/Saturday morning.

Then I realize that being at the ER is one of life’s chances to be completely sincere and non-ironic. I am in need, and kind, trained personnel are tending to me. I am really grateful. They are very sweet.

I had chest pains, the last week or so. They got unbearable tonight, so I advocated for myself and drove to the ER. I was seen right away.

I’m waiting for the very cool doctor to share the test results. I can hear the nurses laughing and joking, which I find very charming. It is very sweet and nature. Life is bubbling up. It finds a way.

I am still in a lot of pain, and will certainly post more soon!

[brownblob]

I hope you are well this morning.

[oak]

Thanks, Brownblob! It turns out that, after all the tests, the chest pains are a muscle strain.

It turns out it was a really good experience, and I'm glad I went. Though specific moments really sucked.

Like a lot of brushes with death, it reminded me of every truth we know, but can hardly appreciate, since day to day life is often all I can do: I need to take better care of myself, tomorrow isn't promised to any of us.

[Heatherwantspeace]

Hi Oak,
I'm so relieved it wasn't heart related. You did the right thing in asking for help and care and I'm glad you were treated well. You deserve support and empathy.
I hope your history of receiving help for other muscle/tendon issues gives you the confidence to know you will get better. Please be kind to yourself in whatever ways you can.
I'm sending over some medicinal tacos and a cheesy romance novel or movie of your choice.
Take care,
Heather

[oak]

Oh Heather you know me too well! You are as sweet, kind, and thoughtful as the hospital staff, and that is saying alot!

And yes, I accept: an Amish one where the female lead has a troubled past before finding redemption. I accept your medicinal tacos, and add hospital-grade green El Yucateco sauce. Have the pretty nurse saw today (Rawr! makes cat scratching/swiping motion) bring Mexican Coca Cola, and I won't be sure if I'm in heaven or not.

A few more thoughts:

1. Like "they" say, there is a difference between sympathy and empathy; not that I would have judged, but when the hospitals are soon overwhelmed with patients and health care professionals, I'll have a better understanding from both sides: the ER is a stressful situation, at best, even for when it turns out okay. And now, thanks to this experience, words like "health care professional" has been replaced by kind, friendly people I met in the last 24 hours. It makes us all more human. There's really something to be said for the power and beauty of looking people in the eye: to go from categories to actual humans.

2. Likewise, having been both through the flu and the ER in the last month, I have a much better idea of both, and when the coronavirus sweeps through, I'll know if/when to go to the ER. I know my body better (ie normal temperature), and the bloom is off the rose of fear of going to the ER. There comes a time where the ER is by far the best choice, among bad choices.

3. Important!

a. Bring earbuds so you can listen to your favorite podcast.

b. Bring a pocket charger, with power cord. Both to keep in touch with family, but also so you can read or play mobile games.

The experience will still suck, overall, but a fully charged phone at 5 am can really mitigate boredom. Sitting there thinking is not a great place to be, if we can avoid/mitigate it.

Summary: when in doubt, just go to the ER. While it is a major hassle, things may get to where it can be too late.

[Brooke]

Hey Oak,

I am so sorry to hear that you are in the ER... But your grateful attitude makes my heart warm... I admire the fact that even when you are in the ER, you are still cheerful and positive
I'm glad that they are taking really good care of you.
Hope you feel better soon!!
Sending you lots of love!

Love,
Brooke

[oak]

Thank you my dear friends. I appreciate all your posts so much.

I supposed I'd wrap this up like so: self-care is very important, as is using our words. Going to the ER is a big deal, and we are worth it.

[snoringdog]

Hello Oak,

Glad you're OK.

Years ago I thought I might be having heart attack symptoms. Felt it in my jaw and down my arm, like the classic male indications.

So I went for a stress test on the treadmill, pretty worried. About 10 minutes in, the doctor called in a bunch of interns/residents and told them "This is what a normal healthy person's stress test looks like".

It was kinda embarassing but reassuring at the same time. Turns out that my symptoms were job-stress related. Once I understood that, I could deal...

SD

[oak]

@SD and MW: thank for your lovely replies. In general, it is great to have you both in the forum. Both of you are wonderful, each in your own way.

I find it interesting that all three of us have experienced chest pains due to work stress. And that really important digestive and muscular connections are right near the heart.

[oak]

Thanks for sharing, Snoring Dog and Maeve. Your kind posts brought me comfort!

I've since been in and out of the ER again.

It was a traffic accident (not my fault, and other than soreness, I should be okay).

Once again the ER staff was so wonderful: kind, generous, patient. We'll hear a lot about coronavirus in the coming days, and I am a little awed by the beautiful ER staff. So sweet and kind. They are such beautiful, selfless people. The selflessness I've observed from ER (and grocery, btw) employee almost shames me that "everyday" humans can be so giving of themselves. They are so beautiful.

Some thoughts/lessons learned:

1. Always have your dashcam on. If you don't have one, I strongly suggest you get one. If you've been meaning to get around to buying one, someday, let that day be today.
2. For all the criticism of Obamacare, I have found out that "just" Bronze marketplace insurance is a wonderful privilege. I pay $250/month, and it has paid for itself several times over.
3. Bring a phone charger into the ER (cord and plug).

I also (probably) lost my job yesterday. But I'm doing okay. I am very grateful this happened in 2020 and not ten years ago: losing both my car and job on the same day would have been devastating.