had a very upsetting meltdown last night...

[SurrealistScone]

This month has been a giant series of extreme highs and very low lows. The month started with the incredible high of getting married. About two weeks after that, my wife's grandmother died. She had been sick for a long time so it was not exactly a surprise, but it certainly upset her and affected me because a) I liked her grandmother and was genuinely sad that she passed away and b) the wedding, as happy as it was, reminded me of how time is going and going and going and we are all getting older and older and older. It made me think about how I will lose people. It made me think about how I will die. Or my wife.

Now usually when I am sad, I feel stupid. Like my feelings aren't valid.

Flash to the other night when I was watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother. I was reflecting upon how sitcoms are really idealized life. Things happen ad time continues but nothing all that traumatic really occurs. And I lost it. I started hitting myself, crying, and telling my wife tat she married a stupid idiot.

it got to the point where the downstairs neighbor came up to tell me to shut up, which I am really embarrassed about.

I think it was also triggered by me getting off of my family's phone plan and getting onto my wife's. It shouldn't mean anything but it is another piece of connection to them.

I am sad..... and never watching How I Met Your Mother again.

[lawlessness45]

Major life changes, even good ones, can inspire and create some intense emotions. And I understand about sitcoms setting you off. I can't watch them because they are all so perfect and I find myself getting depressed by the shallowness. But, I encourage you to be kind to yourself. Cut yourself some slack( even though it's hard). It's ok to mourn the passing phases of life while also celebrating new phases. It's even ok to be sad about the new phases and what they symbolize. You are cutting ties to childhood and family that you've spent years building. Anyone would feel sad about that. But you are also creating new ties, and exploring relationships with your family from a different perspective. Change is terrifying. Especially big changes. I just want to send you some encouragement and hope you are trying to be kind to yourself as life shifts around you. May you be well.