Ok, I should have done this long ago then... (happy moment)

[wishkah]

The first week of my second year at university of a three year B.A. has just ended. I'm 27 and have previously studied in my home town but after working full time in another city for 7 years i needed a change. Going back to study hit me like a ton of bricks. I have depression and my fear of failure to meet my own unobtainable goals and inability to make friends, in particular with other guys, finally made me seek help. I've been medicated for a year now and was seeing the universities councilor for a couple of months. The advice my councilor gave me was to join a sports team (for both exercise and friendship) and not to worry too much about my studies, as after all I'm a B+ student. Our last sessions were in November as the trimester had ended. Although I wasn't feeling happy around the times of the meetings i hadn't had much to say. She suggested that as the pressure of university had lifted and I would be seeing my family over Christmas that we wouldn't schedule in another meeting. This made me feel that my depression was not valid. Seeing the surveys and other posts i know that sadness for no real reason is valid so this hasn't deterred me from further help if i need it. Around the same time in November i found myself another job. It was an easier role which will be good once uni is in full swing but waiting to go back has been agonizing. I have realized that i am a lot more intellectual than i give myself credit for and the lack of mental stimulation was boring me. As soon as my course readings were available i quickly got a head start. I have enrolled in 4 papers, however I only need to do 3, so I am able to drop one which i dislike by the end of the second week. I feel as if i now have control over my study. I have a choice on which I will enjoy and do well in. It is also the orientation week where there have been club stalls in the main building signing up students. I quickly searched out the rugby team and signed up.

This is when my seminal moment is. Today was our first training. We only had a get together and had a hour game of touch rugby but it has been the only sport I've been in in a long time. The team consisted of people of all skills and ages. I would have been one of the older ones at 27, but their were several other teammates who were also in their 2nd and 3rd year at university, as well as 1st years. This mixture of skills and ages was met with complete acceptance. Everyone just wanted to throw the ball around and have a run. If someone made a mistake it wasn't a big deal. Laughed it off or kicked the ball in frustration but it was all in good spirits. Now after a shower I'm lying in bed exhausted. By body its tired - not the bad tired but the "I've done my best" tired. My social mind is in awe that there was this instant acceptance of strangers joining the rugby team who where clearly less skilled than the returning players. My educational mind is satisfied. I know there is a lot of work to do in the coming weeks - even week end, but has earned its rest for the night. Although I understand that an anxiety will strike again once I have completed university and need to look for a job - and some day I will not want to study anymore or live the student life - right now I am in complete contentment. I am in a state of happiness and satisfaction.

[Glock therapy]

That is super cool --so nice when sports are enjoyed that way. Kind of like a conversation where everyone is truly listening to each other and not just trying to be the smartest wit or something. Congratulations on the work you've done to get to what sounds like a great situation, all-around, for you. Enjoy!

gt

[Fargin]

Inspirational, great read!