just a few to start

[ellie]

1) I'm afraid of my father.
2) I'm afraid that he will follow me to college.
3) I'm afraid that he will kill me.
4) I'm afraid that if I were to be in the hospital, fighting for my life, he would pull the plug, simply to hurt my mother, and receive sympathy for having to make that decision.
5) I'm afraid that my grandfather will become ill, and that I will be unable to reach him before he dies.
6) I'm afraid that one of my grandparents will die, and that the other will be left alone.
7) I'm afraid that I will never find love, that at 17 I'm too old to ever receive a first kiss, or have a "Training wheel" relationship.
8) I'm afraid that I will never have someone love me, in the romantic sense, as much as I love them, in that unspeakable sort of way.
9) I'm afraid that I will always be depressed
10) I'm afraid that I will never find the perfect ADD medication.
11) I'm afraid that I will only remember the bad moments of my childhood.
12) I'm afraid that none of my peers care for me.
13) I'm afraid that my teachers are the only ones who know that I am smart.
14) I'm afraid that none of my friends would spend time with me unless I initiate it.
15) I'm afraid that if I have children, they will be serial killers, that they will be fucked up like my father.
16) I'm afraid that my life is already wasted.
17) I'm afraid that I will die alone in a hospital.
18) I'm afraid that I'm just an old lady disguised as a teenager.
19)I'm afraid that I will be in physical pain for the rest of my life.
20) I'm afraid that I will never be happy for more than a day at a time

[manuel_moe_g]

Ellie, read your post. I honor your pain. Please take care, all the best. Glad you also wrote a "Love Off" moments list!